Let Them

Sep 3, 2019 | Relationships

Here’s the deal y’all. The things other people do, think, say, feel, blah blah blah… that is their business. Not yours.


Before I say more on that, let me tell you about my amazing sister for a moment.


My sister, Sherri, was very wise. She was my best friend since I was 12, which was the coolest thing ever since she was 16 at the time. Being “in” with her always made me feel super cool.


Sherri was beautiful, funny, popular, weird, adventurous, fit, and so intelligent (for reals, she graduated from college at age 19 with honors.)  I was devasted when I lost her to leukemia when I was 30 years old. I miss her as much now as ever.


We always remember the best traits and the wise insight from our loved ones who’ve passed. Don’t we? I do anyway.


What advice do I remember most from this super intelligent sister of mine?


Let them.


That’s it.


Let them.


What people do, think, say, feel, blah blah blah. It’s their business. Not yours. How nice of us to “let them” be them. Right?


I recommend that you stop thinking you know what other people should say, how they should act, what they should do, what they should believe, how they should vote, who they should hang out with, where they should work, and on and on and on.


Get out of their business! Let them.


I would like to take a moment to say that I also believe in boundaries. When someone in your life says, “F— you!” (this has happened to me) you might want to set some boundaries. I am definitely doing that. I can decide what I will do if someone crosses a boundary, but that is about MY behavior. There is nothing I can do to change another person’s words or behavior.


If I try to change the person, I will be acting like an arrogant manipulator. You know, one that knows better than the other person does. The one that must convince or compel the other person to change.  This never works. At least, while you might get someone to comply at first, in the long run, it will not serve as a healthy way to help another person or to manage your emotions.


What about the family member that votes differently from you?  Let them. Stop judging them.


What about the person that cuts you off in line? Let them. It’s not about you. You don’t need to be offended.


What about the friend that loves to share parenting advice with you that you did not ask for? Let them. They have thoughts coming out of their mouth.  Cool. Once again, it’s not about you, it’s about them.


What about the co-worker (that you have no authority over) who searches kitty videos online all day while you bust your butt? Let them. Stay in your lane and stay out of their business.


So, tell me this… Who benefits when you adopt the “let them” philosophy?


You do!


When we don’t “let them,” we find ourselves trying to control or manipulate, we judge, we feel resentment and frustration. We feel terrible!


When we do “let them,” we drop the judgement and desire to control and settle into humility. We feel freedom and peace.


I guess I’ll write an article about boundaries soon to let you know how I handled myself in relationship to the f—you person.


In the meantime, do yourself a favor, embrace the freedom that comes when you “let them.”



If you like this article, check out Three Ways to Upgrade Your Thoughts today!



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