I’m Diana Swillinger, and this is the Renew Your Mind Podcast Episode 48. I’m the Kind of Person Who
DIANA: Hey. Hey, everybody. How are you doing? I’m doing wonderful. I love coming back to you guys every week. I have a fun episode today. I love using shortcut phrases I don’t know mind hacks, brain cheats. I mean, we could call them all sorts of things, but there’s some little tricks we can do with our brain today. It’s a good one. You all. Before I start, I want to thank you all who’ve been leaving me reviews over on itunes. There’s a rating when you leave the stars. Five stars is great if you love it. If you don’t love this podcast, don’t go over there and leave a review. No, I’m just kidding. All feedback is great feedback, but if you have any suggestions, you can always send me a message. I’d love to improve the podcast based on what you guys would love to hear, but if you already love it, go leave a review. The rating is the stars, but the review is when you type in something and you give feedback, and it helps people know what this podcast is like, what they can expect if they listen to it, and it just helps more people find it. So I’d love to read those to you all. I’m so grateful for them. So I’m going to read one to you today from Valerie Buse. Valerie, I hope I pronounced your last name right. B-U-S-S-E this review says excellent podcast. I’m so grateful to have found this podcast. Every episode is a gem of wisdom. I look forward to it every week. It’s really helping me clean up my thinking. Well, thanks so much for that review, Valerie. That was, like, exactly why I do this podcast, right? If we can clean up our thinking. What she didn’t say is we feel better when our thinking is not distorted, when our thinking is used to help us instead of to hinder us, we feel better, too. So I love that, and I’m all about practical ways to improve how we’re thinking. I really believe, I firmly believe this is how we create content in our lives. It has very little to do with what’s going on around us, and it has everything to do with how we are thinking. So I think it’s fun when my podcast listeners and clients are able to adopt a phrase that lets them think differently so they can feel better.
Some of the ones that I use all the time that my clients have told me are super helpful. Um, one of them is let them. Whenever there’s somebody in your life that’s doing something or saying something or thinking something that’s about them, it’s not about you. So you just get to let them. There’s another phrase. This isn’t about me. It releases us from getting tangled up in other people’s business. Whatever they’re doing, this isn’t about me. We don’t have to make everything about us super helpful. Another one. I actually did a podcast on last month. I believe this is the part where this thought helps us accept what’s happening in life. Like it’s okay. We don’t have to fight with reality if we’re willing to accept that. This is the part where because everybody walks through easy things and everybody walks through more challenging things to navigate, that’s just the human existence. This is the part where I get sick and can’t make dinner. This is the part where my son gets into a car accident. This is the part where I lose my cool. This is the part where I calm down and apologize for losing my cool. The phrase helps us make everything okay. All of it’s just normal. When I say it’s okay, I mean it’s just normal parts of being human. And we don’t need to add a bunch of worry or shame or frustration on top of what’s happening. These phrases are super useful in managing our minds. And so today I want to give you another one.
Ready? It’s I’m the kind of person who this phrase helps us identify with who we are today. It also helps us identify with who we want to be tomorrow. This phrase helps us notice and figure out what our values are and helps us align our lives with our values. This phrase helps us be courageous instead of shrinking back or taking the easy way. I’m the kind of person who is a phrase of empowerment. So I’m just going to dive right in with an example. Okay? I used to hit the snooze on my alarm in the morning, like every day. It was just normal. I don’t know why I kept putting my alarm early if I was just going to snooze, but that’s what I did. And I had a running story going on in my head that I was tired. I’m a tired person. I never get enough sleep. But I also wanted to be more disciplined about getting up in the morning. I kind of had lots of stories in my brain about this. Like I don’t get enough sleep, but I also want to get up. I’d love to get up early in the quiet of the morning before my kids have a cup of coffee, read a devotional or read the Bible or read a book and really, I could do whatever I wanted. I could keep snoozing. That wasn’t really a problem. I kind of liked it. But there was something else I wanted to do with my time in the morning that I also valued. I valued time alone in the morning with coffee and god. Apparently, I had this subconscious thought run in the background all the time, though, that kept me from doing that. It was probably a thought like, I’m the kind of person that needs more sleep and needs to hit the snooze multiple times. I, uh, must have been thinking that, because that’s what I was doing. I was unintentionally keeping me in bed with default thinking. So I knew if I wanted to get up in the morning instead of snoozing, I was going to need intentional thinking.
Not just have unintentional thinking happening that was going to give me the same if I wanted to do something different, I had to be intentional. So I decided to use the phrase, I’m the kind of person who I figured that would help me get out of bed. So I just needed to think of what kind of person gets out of bed instead of snoozing. My intentional thinking went something like this I’m the kind of person that gets out of bed the first time the morning alarm sounds. Or, uh I’m the kind of person that gets out of bed the first time the alarm rings. That first morning after I declared that I did want to snooze, because I was used to doing that. I like being in my warm bed. But when the alarm rang, I remembered the thought I chose. I’m the kind of person that gets out of bed the first time the alarm rings. Since I had decided that’s the kind of person I am, I did not try to negotiate with myself for more time in bed. I just did what I declared. I’m the kind of person that’s the kind of person I am. And over the next several days, there are many times I didn’t want to get up with the alarm. But it didn’t matter because I already decided I’m the kind of person that gets up with the alarm. Okay? Does that make sense? So that’s a very easy example of it. And it’s kind of a simple concept to just decide. The tricky part is choosing a sentence that you’re going to actually honor, a sentence that you believe. A sentence that doesn’t take it too far so that all you do is just scoff at it. Now, it’s possible that this is a phrase. It probably is a phrase you’re already using. You just aren’t paying any attention to it. And if that’s the case, you might actually be using this phrase against yourself. Here’s what that would look like. I’m the kind of person who can’t keep up with chores. I’m the kind of person that’s shy at parties. I’m the kind of person that thinks it’s too late to go for my goals. I’m the kind of person that’s tired of my life. I’m the kind of person that’s always running late. If we took the time to slow down life enough to peek in at what the brain is telling us, I think you might find that you are labeling yourself already quite often. But these examples I just gave, they’re a, uh, debilitating way to use the phrase.
They’re not helping you, but you can move out of this gradually. You can give yourself enabling sentences to think instead of disabling sentences. This is where we have to be intentional. That’s using the phrase unintentionally. But I also want you to not now that I’m pointing out this phrase, to use it to further beat yourself up. I do not want you to use this tool as a way to label yourself as falling short or failing or being less than, because not only are those lies, they just will make you feel terrible. What’s the point of doing that? It’s actually, I think, the trap that Satan wants you to fall into. He wants you to label yourself as falling short and feel terrible. That’s a win for him. Do not fall for that. He wants you to misuse the tool. Like, I’m the kind of person who always gets it wrong. I’m the kind of person who fails my family. I’m the kind of person who isn’t as good as everyone else. But these are lies. All of them. Lies, lies, lies. Do not fall for it. And that is not how to use this tool. That’s a distortion that I do not want you to do. Okay? This tool is meant to help you, love you and accept you just as you are today, and help you step into the kind of person you want to be more of tomorrow. It’s for empowerment. It’s for confidence building. And if you try to use this phrase and you’re not feeling more confident or empowered, you’re using it wrong. Okay? Don’t do that. If you are having trouble getting going with this and feeling any kind of confidence or feeling capable or empowered or anything positive, if you’re just feeling more negative, you’re not using it right. And I want you to reach out for help. I’m here for you. Just send me a message, send me an email, send me a DM um, on Instagram, and I’m totally going to help you, okay? It’s very important. Nothing I don’t know if I’ve ever said this before, so I’m just going to say this.
Nothing in my podcast is ever intended to make you feel worse. If you’re using it properly, it will not make you feel worse. It’ll make you feel better. All right? So repeat after me. I’m the kind of person that doesn’t use mind renewal tools to shame myself. All right? Okay. Back to the morning alarm. After I started getting up with my alarm, I upped my game, which is fun, right? Like, okay, if I can do that, what else can I do? So I decided. I’m the kind of person who gets out of bed with the alarm and makes the bed before walking away. You guys, this is even before I go potty in the morning. I don’t let myself leave the bedside because I’m the kind of person that wakes up with the alarm and makes the bed before walking away. I used to quickly straighten the blankets and comforter so it didn’t look terrible. I’m not that savage, y’all, I’d straighten it up, but I wasn’t really making the bed. I just kind of sort of made it. But then when I’d get in and at night, the sheet wasn’t quite right or it wasn’t tight, it wasn’t lined up right. It didn’t seem inviting, like a truly made bed. And I love going to bed at night. But what I didn’t love was getting into an unmade bed. You know how long it actually takes me to make my bed? It takes like two minutes. I’m not a perfectionist. And throw pillows help. Y’all, if you want a fast way to make a bed, incorporate throw pillows. It’s a forgiving setup. But I love seeing my pretty bed all day long with the pillows, the sheets straight, it’s pulled tight, the comfort is in the right place, and it’s nice and inviting to climb into at the end of the day. So I value my time in the morning alone and I value a made bed. That’s m just one simple phrase put into action and new habits were born. Two years later, I still do it. You know why? That’s just the kind of person I am. I’m still the kind of person who gets up with the alarm and makes the bed before walking away. This phrase isn’t just for habits though, too. It can be for all sorts of stuff. It can be for goals. I’m the kind of person who completes the tasks on my daily planner each day. I’m the kind of person that goes for walks every day to stay healthy. I’m the kind of person that is creating an amazing business. I’m the kind of person that doesn’t stop when I hit an obstacle. I’m the kind of person that doesn’t quit. It can be used for relationships. I’m the kind of person that always says I’m sorry when someone feels hurt by me. I’m the kind of person that considers the other person’s experience so I can have compassion. I’m the kind of person that leaves the room if someone raises their voice to me. I’m the kind of person that doesn’t withhold saying I love you. There’s so many ways to use this. And this one phrase, it can change so much in your life.
All right, but remember I said it’s simple but you need to make sure that you believe it. Just like all the thought work that we do, y’all, we can’t just start thinking random different thoughts and everything’s going to change. We need to be careful we need to believe what we’re choosing to think. So you might not be able to go from I’m the kind of person who hates herself to I’m the kind of person who loves herself. You might not believe it yet, but you can be the kind of person who wants to learn how to love herself. Right, that’s probably true. And that changes the path that you’re on. If you go from I’m the kind of person who hates herself to I’m the kind of person who wants to learn how to love herself, you’ve totally changed the course of your ship. Maybe you can’t go from I’m the kind of person who tends to quit to I’m the kind of person who never quits. That’s a very big leap, but you don’t need to do that, and I don’t recommend big leaps. You could start with something smaller, simpler, I’m the kind of person who won’t quit today, or I’m the kind of person who won’t quit in this moment, on this one thing. You don’t have to worry about tomorrow. You don’t have to worry about forever. You can just be the person who doesn’t quit today right now. That’s it.
Deciding I was the kind of person that rose with the alarm in the morning wasn’t hard for me because I valued that time I would be getting in the morning, and I was ready to be that person. Sometimes we’re not ready, though, and that’s okay too. If I wasn’t ready, maybe if my kids were still smaller I didn’t have Toddlers anymore when I did that. Maybe if I did, I’d still be like, okay. I’m the kind of person who values extra sleep and time alone in the morning, so I’m sure I’ll figure it out when the time is right. Or I could think, I’m the kind of person that figures out the next step when the time is right. Or I’m the kind of person that doesn’t beat myself up when I don’t know the next step, I’m the kind of person that doesn’t beat myself up I’m the kind of person that doesn’t beat myself up for hitting snooze. The possibilities are endless with this phrase. You guys, who do you want to be today? Here’s just a whole bunch of examples. I couldn’t stop myself when I was thinking of this. If any of these resonate with you, you don’t have to come up with your own too. You can borrow these. I’m the kind of person who’s willing to look at my thoughts. I’m the kind of person who’s willing to feel the discomfort of anxiety and move through it. I’m the kind of person that doesn’t condemn myself when I snap at the kids. I’m the kind of person who’s figuring out how to be the best parent I can be. Not a perfect parent, mind you, just the best I can be. I’m the kind of person who loves my kids unconditionally. I’m the kind of person who stays in a challenging marriage and uses it to become a more mature person. I’m the kind of person who invests in my mental health that is true for me forever. I’m the kind of person who listens to podcasts that help me renew my mind that’s you this tool is reinforcing of your worth.
This tool will reinforce your value. And when you use this tool properly, it creates emotions like feeling capable, confident, accepting of self. Um, emotions like grace, love, appreciation. This is a great add on to last week’s episode about accepting yourself as is. All right, so that was some examples on using this tool for today, but you can use it for tomorrow, too. What do you want to declare about the person you are or the person you are becoming? Here’s a practical way you can get started using this tool to help direct your future. You could imagine yourself in five years imagine yourself in a life in five years where things are okay, your life is okay. You’ve accomplished some or many of the things you care about or wanted to do, and you’re living out your values. What is that future version of you? Like, what kind of person is she? And you can do a little brainstorm on her. Write it down. Write a bunch of it down. What kind of person are you in five years? Are you the kind of person that exercises four days a week? Are you the kind of person that takes a yearly family vacation? Are, uh, the kind of person that gets the promotion you want? Are you the kind of person that lives by the water? Are you the kind of person that keeps the kitchen floor clean? Are you the kind of person that volunteers, uh, at your favorite nonprofit? Who do you want to step into? Who do you want to become more of now? I would say pick one thing from that one thing from your future self that you can start declaring today.
Don’t pick all of them at once. You will be overwhelmed. Baby steps here. All right, pick one. So I’ll just use two of them as examples to help you out as you do this for yourself. The exercise four times a week seems pretty straightforward, right? You could maybe even just start today by declaring, I’m the kind of person that exercises four days a week. If you believe you’re ready to jump into that, maybe it depends on your starting point. Maybe it depends on just how ready you feel. But you do need to believe it that it’s true to the point that you can embrace it and step into it. Notice when you pick a, uh, thought about the kind of person you are, if your brain feels like it rejects it even a little bit, you probably aren’t ready for it. You could start with, I’m the kind of person that goes for a walk every Saturday morning. You see how that’s so much easier to step into than I’m the kind of person that exercises four days a week. If you’re coming from a place where you’re not exercising at all, just be the kind of person that goes for a walk every Saturday morning. Or I’m the kind of person that shows up for two online zumba classes a week. Do you like zumba? What is it you like to do? Declare just one thing that you are actually ready to step into, because then when you declare it, you will actually do it. You add more later. Then this is like the episode I keep thinking of, the episode, um, baby steps that I did last year. If you want an episode that’s kind of complementary to this one, go back and listen to baby steps. We can’t just go all in.
When we go all in on our goals, like ramped up to the nth degree, that’s when we quit. We need to start with what’s doable and then declare that that’s the kind of person that you are. So let’s say I declared, I’m the kind of person that goes for a walk every Saturday morning. Once I step into that, and I am, um, being that person, I can ramp it up. Kind of like, first I was the person who got out of bed with my alarm. Then I added, I’m the kind of person who makes my bed before I walk away with walking on Saturday, you could change it to when you’re ready to ramp it up. I’m the kind of person that goes for a walk every Saturday and Tuesday and then stay there for a while until you’re ready to ramp it up again. All right, I want to look at one more example because sometimes it’s not as straightforward, so let’s look at the example of living by the water. This one isn’t as obvious of where to start. You might want to do a secondary brainstorm. Like, in five years, I thought, I’m the kind of person who’s going to be living by the water. Well, what else would be true about that person that lives by the water? What are some things I know about that person? And do another brainstorm? Maybe you come up with a thought to start with, like, I’m the kind of person that saves 10% of my paycheck towards a down payment of living by the water. Or I’m the kind of person that’s willing to be adventurous even if I have some doubts. I’m the kind of person that sticks to my goal, even if I’m not sure how to make it happen. Maybe I’m the kind of person that finds a way to make my dreams happen.
There’s lots of places you can start with this one, and there’s no right thought to start with. You get to pick whatever one you want to anyone that moves you closer to being the kind of person that makes this come true. That’s why I’m saying you have to pay attention. Do you believe this is your brain rejecting it in any way? If your brain feels like, uh I don’t know I don’t know if that’s me, you’re probably not ready for that thought. Just find a thought that helps you move closer to being the kind of person that makes your dream come true. If your dream is living by the water. I’m the kind of person who finds a way to make twice as much as I do now. I’m the kind of person who thinks creatively about making my dream of living by the water come true. M open yourself up to the possibilities. There is so much you can do with this tool. You all dream big. Be more of the kind of person you love being today. Be more of the kind of person you want to be tomorrow. Use this to grow in becoming more like Christ. I’m the kind of person who’s becoming more Christlike each day. I’m the kind of person who offers more grace to people each day. I’m the kind of person who’s growing in patience every day. I’m m the kind of person who asks God to help me grow in patience. Create more of what you want in your future. I’m the kind of person who thinks about what I want in the future and looks for ways to make it happen. This is your chance to come out from playing small and start stepping into your dreams. I have a sign in my office. If any of you have been on a call with me, you’ve seen it before. It says, Discover what is possible. That’s what this tool does. This tool will open up your world. I’m the kind of person that discovers what is possible. And I hope you are too. Let’s do this together. I can’t wait to hear your stories of how you use this tool. A lot of you guys have been doing that, sending me messages about how one of the podcasts has changed your outlook or changed something going on in your life. Please keep doing that. I love hearing your stories, y’all. Send me an email. Connect with me on Instagram. Let me know how this works for you, okay? I want to hear. All right, y’all, that’s it for today. I will catch you next week. Take care of You.
As an advanced certified life coach, I help Christian women trying to live their best lives, but they still feel unsatisfied and stuck. I teach thought management skills that work so you can enjoy life again and step into who God has created you to be. Don’t forget to head on over to Rympodcast.com um to get my free resources or a free coaching call.
