Podcast Episode 53 – I Am Enough

I’m Diana Swillinger, and you are listening to the Renew Your Mind podcast. Episode 53 I Am Enough. 

DIANA: Hey. Hey, everybody. How’s everyone doing on this amazing day? Amazing, right? Guess how I’m doing. I’m pretty good, actually, you guys. I am so pumped because I’m super busy getting ready for the Renew Your Mind boot camp, which is coming next week. The workbook is being proofread today. I’m almost ready to get that out. I’ve got a brand new iPad case that came in the mail for the giveaway. I’m still waiting for the iPad because there’s an inscription that’s going to be on it. So they’re working on that, but I’ll have it soon. And tons of people have been joining the Renew Your Mind community on Facebook so that they don’t miss out on any of the five days of live video lessons and coaching and Q and A. All this is going on, and I’m pumped because it’s going to be really, really good. So part of this process of people joining the Facebook group that’s been very interesting to me is that I ask a question when people join the group, and that’s what belief or thought do you have that interferes most with creating the life you desire? And I get lots of different answers. Some of them are like, I’m afraid to fail. I don’t know how. I have impostor syndrome. I’m not doing it right, but by far, by a landslide. Actually, the most common answer that I get is a version of I am not enough. I’m not good enough. I’ll never be enough. I’m not worthy. I am not enough. I, uh, don’t know if you think it’s sad that so many people overwhelmingly think this and question their worth, but I actually find it to be a little bit comforting. What a relief that so many people have that thought. That means every time I question my worth, I’m normal. It’s just a part of the normal human experience, and I really believe that. I have yet to meet anyone, anyone who has not questioned if they are enough. I think we’re supposed to question this. And isn’t that a relief? We’re normal. And I almost feel like I could just stop right now, right? You are normal. The end. Seriously, let’s just hang out here, though, before I continue questioning whether you are enough is normal. 

Everyone does this. Did you know that? It’s totally natural to look around at other people and see things we admire about them and then look in the mirror and question if we’re doing it well enough, or if we should be different, or if we’re doing it right. Uh, I’m not saying comparison is helpful. Trust me, I’m not. I don’t think comparison is helpful. But what I’m saying about doubting ourselves that is actually helpful is that it’s normal. So when you wonder if you’re enough, let’s not make that a problem. It doesn’t have to be a problem. It could just be all right. AHA. Uh huh. There it is. This is the part where I’m wondering if I’m. Enough. My brain likes to pose this question. It gets all this input from people around me, and TV and social media, pinterest other people in the community, church and school and work. And then my brain gets to work and it wants to measure me against all this. Apparently, brains do this to everyone because it seems to happen to everyone. It’s not a problem. It’s just what brains do. Isn’t that good to know what a relief my brain is being normal. I don’t have to make a big deal out of this or think there’s something wrong with me for questioning my worth. Okay, now let’s M talk about this thought. You may have heard me say this before, but I love to put thoughts through a thought tester. Basically, it’s just three questions. Is it true? Does it serve me? And does it honor God? So we are going to talk about all three. We’re going to talk about whether it’s true or not. But I want to start with, does it serve me when you think I’m not enough, does that thought serve you? Here’s how we can find out. When you think that thought, how do you feel? What do you feel? I’m not enough. Usually the main emotions people feel with this are things like inadequate, shame, disappointment, maybe even disgust. 

So when you think that thought and when you have those emotions, is that thought serving you? Do those emotions breathe life into you? Do they inspire you? Do they empowerYou? I don’t think so. Mhm, how are those emotions affecting how you show up for people in your life? How are they helping you create the life you want or Not?  They’re not. They’re not helping you. When you think I’m not enough and then you feel inadequate, what do you do? You retreat. You disengage. You play small. Shame is kind of the same thing, right? When you feel shame, you want to hide. You don’t go for it. You pull back into the shadows. Or actually, for some of us, we do other things with shame. My mom likes to say turn your shame into blame as a joke. But it comes from truth, because shame sometimes has us going around throwing blame at other people, trying to take the heat off of ourselves. So is it fair to say that when you think I’m not good enough, that this thought is not helping you? It’s not serving You. It’s not helping. You get more of what you want. Probably you get more of what you don’t want, right? No Bueno.

It’s not serving you. Now let’s see if it’s true. Let’s go back and talk about that one. I am not enough. Is that thought true? Tell me more about this. How do you know? How is anyone going to know? Is that true? I’m um not enough. How much is enough? 100%? 80%? 75%? 95%? That would be enough of what? Like, what are we even measuring here? What do you need to be enough of? Rich, smart, good looking, liked, admired? Need to get a certain amount of work done? Like, what is it? But even then, we need to define it further, right? Like, if you want to be 80% of smart on some smart scale, and then you’ll be enough if you hit 80%. What’s the scale? What’s the smart measurement? Is it an IQ test? Is it a standardized school test? Is it a college test? Whose test is it? Who writes the test? Who decides what gets to be on the smart Test? What about good looking? Who decides who’s good looking? Isn’t that subjective? Who makes that up? I mean, I’d say Ben Affleck is nah. Uh, and Matt Damon is good looking. Am, um I right? Who decides? So you’re telling yourself, mhm, you are not enough, and yet you have no viable way to measure this. How do you even know? Basically, you’re just making it Up. And you can do that if you want. You can just make up stories about how you’re not enough with some measurement that doesn’t even really exist. You can do that. It’s fine. Just remember, it doesn’t serve you. In that case, I’m saying you’re making it up and it’s not serving you. It brings shame, disgust, inadequacy, doubt, and then you’re not showing up the way you want to in life. And you blame or you hide or, uh you’re living in emotional pain, right?  

The people that come and join my group, the people I coach, those who are saying I’m not enough, they’re feeling pain. It’s not serving you, just coming from stories. It’s coming because you’re choosing to think you’re not enough based on some invisible measuring stick that no one can see and no one can define. So I have to ask you, is it even true that you’re not enough? Is it true? Can you prove it? And I imagine you might have a bunch of stories going on in your head right now that you would like to use as evidence to prove to me that you’re not enough. Like, oh, but Tyanna, you don’t know. I’m not as fit as I should be. I don’t clean enough, I don’t do well enough at my job, I’m not good enough as a wife, and yada, yada, yada. What I want you to know is all of that is just stories. They’re stories that you’ve been telling yourself for a while, and so they seem real. They seem true. But I promise you, they are just stories. And here’s the kicker. None of those things, none of those stories actually have anything to do with your worth. None of them. Let’s look at the last question for testing our thoughts. When I think I’m not good Enough. Does it honor God? When you think I’m not good enough, does it honor God? 

Is that honoring to Him for you to be thinking that God made you? He counted the number of hairs on your head. He chose your features and your personality traits. He decided exactly who he wanted you to be, and he knit you together just in the right way, as he intended. And he loves you because he made you, and you are His. The End. That’s the story. End of story. It’s a good story. The story does not go where God says, hey, I gave you a good start, and now you need to measure up to earn your worth. That’s not part of the story. He didn’t look at you and think, gee, I’m not sure if I did that right. This one isn’t good. This one isn’t good enough. That’s not part of the story Either. He did not come to Earth to die on the cross to ensure you could be with Him in Heaven forever because he did not value you. He did it because of how precious and valued you Are. When you decide you’re not enough, you are not honoring God’s creation. You’re poo pooing it. You’re saying, God, you screwed up with this one. That, my friend, is a lie. 

God has yet to make a mistake. And as it turns out, in all his perfection and stuff, he can’t actually make mistakes. The thought I am not enough, as it turns out, it’s not true doesn’t serve you, and it doesn’t honor God. This thought does not pass the thought test. And frankly, I think you have absolutely no business thinking it. Let m me rephrase that. I think you have no business entertaining that thought, because your brain is going to keep offering it to you. It’s going to pop in your head sometimes. Remember, that’s normal. It happens to everyone. It’s not a problem. But when it does pop into your head, you don’t have to grab hold of it. You don’t have to look around for evidence to try to prove it’s true. None of that’s required. A thought can come into your head, and you can decide what you want to do with it. You don’t have to adopt it and feed it, nurture it. Don’t do that, because the real truth is that you are enough. I like to answer my brain right. All right. Hey, brain, thanks for trying to tell me I’m not, uh, enough again, because you’re looking around at all this stuff going on around me, and you’re thinking, I’m supposed to measure up, but you’re wrong. I actually am enough. Thanks for trying to help, but you’re wrong. The truth is, I am enough. The truth is, you are enough. 

You are made in God’s image on purpose to be exactly who you are. You are enough because you exist, even if you don’t believe me right now, doesn’t change that. That’s just your story about why you don’t want to believe me. So the true thought is I am Enough. You know what? Let’s put that one through the thought tester too, since we did that with I’m not enough, let’s try it with I am enough. I am enough. Is it True? Yes, it is. It’s true. Because I’m enough. Just by existing, God made me on purpose. Is this thought serving me? I am enough. Well, if you think that and believe it, since it’s true, what do you Feel? You’re probably going to feel adequate or valued, content, maybe even Empowered. I feel empowered when I think that thought. Does this thought honor God, I am Enough? Yes, it does. You are appreciating God’s creation. And instead of hiding or shrinking back or blaming others, now you get to do things from a place of feeling content and valued and empowered. Think of all the amazing things you can do when you feel that way. It changes everything. Working on adopting the truth that you are enough is at the core of building the life you want. Building an amazing life. It’s foundational. And I don’t even mean an amazing life doesn’t mean everything around you goes well. It means you go through life well. That’s an amazing life. 

Knowing you’re enough and believing it is foundational. And purposely working on this and then adopting stories that give you evidence of how this is true, that is worth working on, that is worth spending your time on. Stop spending so much time looking for evidence about how you are not enough and start looking for all the evidence of how you are. I just gave you a ton. Play this back if you want to hear it again. That’s your homework. You like homework? Get to work on that one. If you’re looking for more help, or you want to ask me questions about this, or get more tools to help you feel better and create the life you want, listen, you really got to come to boot camp. Renew your mind. Boot camp is March 22 through 26th. It’s going to be five days, five key lessons from my coaching program, five videos that will be in the Renew Your Mind community on Facebook, and a workbook to guide you through all of it. Did I mention there’s going to be a drawing for a new iPad? I think I did. Lots of other amazing prizes, too. I’ve got thought journals and pens and free coaching packages. I mean, feel better and get free stuff. I cannot think of a reason for you to not sign up, can you? You should totally sign up. And if you want to be a nice friend, invite your friend to come to she’ll. Thank you. The details for boot camp are rympodcast.com. so go over there, make sure you’re in the group, you get the workbook, and I will see you at boot camp. All right, y’all, that’s it for today. So I will catch you next week. Take care of you.

As an advanced, certified life coach, I help Christian women trying to live their best lives, but they still feel unsatisfied and stuck. I teach thought management skills that work so you can enjoy life again and step into who God has created you to be. Don’t forget to head on over to Rympodcast.com to get my free resources or a free coaching.