Podcast Episode 61 – How to Guide Your Teen

Jul 1, 2023 | Podcast

This is the Renew Your Mind podcast. Episode 61 How to Guide Your Teen with special guest Joey Mascio. 

DIANA: Hey. Hey, everybody. So excited to have Joey on today. He’s one of my favorite people. He always makes me smile. He always makes me laugh. And he’ll tell you why. He’s good at that, I guess. But we met a couple of years ago at a master level training with the person who was our main life coach at the time. And we spent a week in Spokane, Washington, together. And by the end of the week, I’m like, dude, we need to stay in touch. We were both in similar places in our coaching business as new coaches, and we formed a mastermind of sorts with a couple of other coaches, and we’ve been growing our businesses together ever since, which has been super fun. I coach women most of the time, you all know, but many of you are moms. And so, as you can imagine, I get asked a lot if I can teach these mind management tools to my kids, is what people ask. So, yeah, you can. But another question I get asked a lot is, Diana, can you coach my teen? And the answer is no. I don’t coach teens, unfortunately, because I know teens could really benefit from this. So I coach women kind of post college age and beyond. But students are not my thing, and I think it’s much better to, um, send them off to somebody who does specialize with teens reenter my friend Joey Mascio. I refer people to him all the time. I don’t know if anyone’s taken me up on it yet, but if you’re one of those people, you totally should because Joey’s an outstanding coach. I kind of think of him as a teen whisperer, which I am not. So welcome, Joey. I’m so pumped to have you here today. 

JOEY: Hey. I’m excited to be here. This is going to be so much fun. 

DIANA: Of course you’re excited to be here. 

JOEY: Yeah. 

DIANA: Uh, we always have fun together. 

JOEY: Yes. I love talking with you. From the minute I met you up in Washington, I was like, this lady is fun. And I don’t think I’ve ever told you this before. 

DIANA: I never heard that even that well. 

JOEY: And you actually are almost a spitting image of personality and looks of, uh, my high school drama teacher, who I absolutely loved. It was like my second mom. You talk like her and everything. 

DIANA: Gosh, it’s official. I am old. 

JOEY: She was your age when I was that she’s a lot older now. You don’t remind me of her. DIANA: Okay, good. When you were in high school, she was like, I am now. 

JOEY: Exactly. 

DIANA: That’s acceptable. Thank you. 

JOEY: Yes, totally acceptable. 

DIANA: All right. I was worried there for a minute. But I am older than you because I have teens and post teens and you don’t have teens yet. I have to ask you about your background. How did you become an expert on teens? 

JOEY: Yeah, so essentially, I just never stopped being one mentally, first of all. 

DIANA: True. 

JOEY: Yeah. And, uh, I’ve been working with teens ever since I was one. I’ve been, uh, a camp counselor. I’ve been an early morning seminary teacher for high school kids. Uh, I’m religious as you are as well, and I teach Sunday school for seminary and whatnot. Um, so I do all that fun stuff, which I absolutely have loved. But also, currently, I’m a middle school teacher and a former high school teacher. And when I talk with parents, they’re like, oh, uh, you don’t have any teens of your own? I go, no, I have 236 that I deal with that’s a lot. It’s a lot. And while people are like, well, but there are differences when it’s your own teen and all that, I’m like, yeah, true. But when you go to a doctor because you have cancer, do you want your doctor to have had cancer in order for him to operate or do anything? And they’re like, oh, well, no, that’s not really important. I’m like, it’s the same thing here. Right. Is that in fact, I always view it as I have the benefit of being removed from your teenager, which gives me the power and strength in order to coach your teenager wow. 

DIANA: And objectivity. 

JOEY: Yes. Which is key. And me, I volunteered to be the teacher in the discipline office at my middle school. So if you didn’t think I was a saint already yeah. Um, that was something when I volunteered, my principal was like, I’m sorry, what? Now you are willingly asking to be in the in the discipline office, the room often called on campus suspension in most schools where the teens go when they get kicked out of class or get caught or anything. I’m m like, yes, I would love to be in there and work with those teens. 

DIANA: Wow. Well, how do you think that has shaped you did that before you became a life coach for teens. Okay. How has that prepared you for being a life coach for teens? 

JOEY: It let me know that this work is possible at their level. And this was middle school teens as well. I’m talking, like, tween teens. Um um right now, I don’t coach anybody one on one that’s younger than 14 because of the work that I did in there. But the concepts and the gradual work and teaching it to them oh, yeah. As young as middle school, they can grasp it and it gave me the ability to learn how to mix the two together, comedy and coaching. Because my background, even before teaching, was, uh, a performer. I performed on hundreds of stages across California, both at community level theaters and, uh, in schools. I’ve done performances. And at, uh, Disneyland, actually, I remember. 

DIANA: You telling me, I will never forget it. I always have in the back of my head is, you are Darth Maul. 

JOEY: That’s right. I’m the only performer in Disneyland history to have played both Darth Maul and the Mad Hatter. 

DIANA: I could see that. Actually. 

JOEY: That’s a compliment. Or not. 

DIANA: Well, like in the disciplinary room at the school, it’d be good to have a little bit of both. JOEY: Well, yes. And when I would teach my classes, I would tell all my students on day one, I’d show them pictures of me in both costumes, and I’d say, guys, you get to choose who I am in class. The villain or the funny guy. It’s all on you. Right. And I usually got them in the palm of my hands from day one. 

DIANA: I must behave well around you, because I’ve only gotten the funny guy well, and the smart businessman, but I’ve never gotten the Darth mall. I met Kylo Ren at Disney World a couple of years ago, and I have to tell you, that is terrifying. So if you being like Darth Maul was anything like that. 

JOEY: Uh, Darth Maul is much scarier than Kylo Ren. Because you can see my face. Right? You can see Darth Maul’s face, and his eyes pierce your soul and all that. And, uh, it was the funnest job ever. 

DIANA: Wow. Well, that’s a lot of great background. And, I mean, that is part of what attracted me to you. After I met you, I immediately went to your website, and I saw how you were delivering your information to teens, how you were willing to connect with them with just their willingness to be dry, sarcastic, goofy, or whatever. So I’ve really appreciated that. Okay. So part of why I wanted to have you on, I’ve heard you talk to other people about what’s going on with teens during the pandemic, because everything shifted before the pandemic. I had kids in high school, boys in high school. There was already times where they wondered if they’re depressed, times when they wondered if they had Add, times when they wondered if they had anxiety classes they thought they couldn’t pass classes they thought they did great at all the confusion about what they wanted to be as adults. And then we threw the pandemic on them, and we unplugged them from their schools socially, and we made them do distance learning and everything. Uh, people were just having trouble navigating this. So I don’t know what my specific question is, but in general, what have you noticed going on with this pandemic? How should we think as parents, how should we be thinking about this differently? I guess instead of thinking, this sucks so much for me, it sucks for my teens. This is so hard. I wish it was over. What can you help us with here? 

JOEY: Yeah, I talk with parents all the time because, uh, like I said, I’m currently still a middle school teacher in Southern California. So we’ve been in distance learning now for, let’s see, uh, 14 months. And it’s been a long, long time. And so I’ve had students, uh, who last year, I had them as 7th graders, and they were fantastic. And they would show up and they do things, and then now, all of a sudden, where do they go? What’s going on? Their grades have dropped and all this fun stuff. So when I talk about this, I say this is actually the greatest opportunity of your teen’s life. And for you as a parent, greatest opportunity, because what I feel is a pandemic has been a magnifying glass. The things that were already there. People love to look at the pandemic and kind of vilify it and go, oh, my teen was doing great, and then this thing happened, and then, oh, my goodness, right? And I’m not saying that it didn’t change the experience for people. This is true. But it showed what maybe was underneath the outer layer of a teen to expose, like, what’s going to happen in this situation. They were put into the crucible, so to speak. And then you got to see what was there and what parts might crack a little bit or which ones might know. And for me, that’s a huge opportunity to see. Awesome. Hey, they need some strength in this area, right? You’ve got to cover up that crack here in this area, give them these tools so they can thrive in various situations. And I say this is an opportunity. And P. S. Your teen is going to be fine. 

DIANA: How do we know that? 

JOEY: First off, you just need to choose to believe it. Your team is going to be fine. There’s this belief first off, there’s the whole, like, well, their grades this year have just been the worst, and now they’re on a trajectory that’s going to lead them to flipping, uh, burgers, living in a van down by the river. 

DIANA: Exactly. That’s exactly what I say. 

JOEY: Yeah. And that’s not a true story. This is not going to happen. All right. If you look back in history, there’s been, uh, many, many major events throughout just even the past 100 or so years that kind of threw the normal off kilter for a bit, and people made it through life, continued on. We find a way to progress and to excel. And the best thing about this pandemic and I feel like I have to remind parents of this the best thing about the pandemic is that it’s global. It’s not like it’s just your state was hit with this pandemic, and everybody else is doing just fine. And moving on. And they’re like, oh, there’s a student applying for college. They’re from that state, that pandemic where. 

DIANA: They all failed a class or two in their final years of high school. 

JOEY: Exactly. They’re all now dumber, uh, or like, let them into school. It’s like everybody understands, uh, and that’s really the tone in the public education system. We all understand what everybody’s going through. Teachers, next year, when they get the students, they’re not going to be like, wait, you didn’t learn the math you’re supposed to learn last year? What’s wrong with you? Right? Everybody’s going to play catch up, which means nobody is playing catch up, so to speak. Because if everybody’s behind, nobody’s behind, right? 

DIANA: That’s such a great way to look at it. If everybody’s behind, nobody’s behind. We just changed the meter. Or we changed a little bit of what we’re measuring here, which is interesting. But I also imagine maybe some kids thrived doing this and getting better grades while some kids were then suddenly really struggling. 

JOEY: I ask my students frequently, uh, and there’s a big chunk of them that are like, oh, I hope we never go back. I’m doing so good right now. There’s no distractions for me. This is wonderful. I’m able to get stuff done a lot faster than before. And they just have that kind of mindset. And yeah, there are also groups of students who are like, hey, I need someone in the room with me to force me to do the work or else I don’t really learn. And I haven’t really been doing too much, but there’s been that kind of inconsistencies incongruencies all the time that has always existed. And, uh, it’s not like everybody was doing good and now everybody’s not doing good. There’s been some shifts and there’s been some changes. And your teen, uh, the best thing they can learn out of this is what they need to work on. And there’s a kid, I’m thinking of him right now. He did great when he was in person, good enough when he was in person. And he’s in my class again this year, and I really haven’t seen him too much. When I talk with him, he’s like, yeah, I just can’t motivate myself, right? I just can’t motivate myself to get on and do it. Uh, not doing it. And then I’m like, all right, and guess what? You’re going to be fine, dude. You’re going to be fine. And, uh, keep this in mind, though. Learn from it. Learn what? Oh, man, I’m going to need to step up. And he will, he’ll learn from this on his own time. He’ll learn that. Yeah. I don’t do good in situations like that. So I need to be in a situation if I want to succeed. And it has to be his choice. If I want to succeed, I need to be in a situation where I can best thrive. 

DIANA: Yeah, that’s so interesting because, um, I’ve listened to my boys go through high school and they’re like, that chemistry teacher was great. We had the best time ever. And they just always loved being in the room and they learned so much. And then my next son went through and he got the other chemistry teacher and they’re like, she’s terrible. Nobody learns anything from her. We don’t ever understand a word she’s saying. And they just all barely get through it. And they all have completely different understandings of chemistry. And you’re saying they’re all going to be okay no matter which teacher they got? 

JOEY: Yeah. Because that has already been happening for the past 100 years. 

DIANA: Right. 

JOEY: That’s already been a thing. Right. And so this year, maybe your student, uh, didn’t learn too much in English this year. Yeah, there’s been lots of students who didn’t learn too much in English their sophomore, junior year, whatever year your teen is in. And guess what? They go on to be just fine. 

DIANA: That’s so true. Okay, well, if everybody’s going to be fine, what in the world is our role as parents here? Shouldn’t we be worrying about our kids future? Shouldn’t we be worrying about making sure that they are prepped for college? Shouldn’t we be worrying about making sure that they never experience anxiety and all that? What are we supposed to do if everything’s going to be fine? 

JOEY: Yeah. If we’re not supposed to worry, what are we supposed to do? Uh, right. 

DIANA: Or are we supposed to worry? 

JOEY: Here’s what I say. If you insist on worrying, then just keep on worrying about the same old stuff you always worried about. 

DIANA: I hate worrying, though. It feels terrible. 

JOEY: It does. And it’s not helpful. But sometimes some people who are listening are like, no, I must worry. Um, so if you must, then go ahead and you must, and you’re going to anyway. But if you’re kind of like, wait a minute, I don’t like the feeling of worrying. If you’re like Diana, I don’t like the feeling of worrying, then realize that you worrying isn’t doing anything. Uh, the things it’s probably doing is showing your team that there’s cause to worry. Right. Like, your emotions are contagious. So if you are worrying about them, you are either going to get them to worry or you will inspire them to push away from you. Because then you go shift into passive parenting, where passive aggressive parenting right in there and you’re like, well, you need to be doing this. Or some people just go full into aggressive parenting. And either one of those options is not going to get you the change that you want in your teen, because ultimately, you are not in control of your teen’s change. Mhm. 

DIANA: Okay, so what do we do? How can we help our teens through this? I, uh, don’t know if you have a scenario or we want to make one up, but let’s just say we had a student with a 3.5 grade point average going into their junior year. Pandemic hits. Suddenly they failed a bunch of classes, and their grade point average is now like a 3.1. And they’re not going to get into the state school that they wanted. They’re going to have to go for their second. I mean, I don’t know what do we do for our kids or when they have anxiety or how do we help them. What is our role? 

JOEY: The best role for a parent, once you’ve gotten rid of that worry, right, is to sit down and to help the teen realize what they want and support them. Because in working with teens, I have learned over and over and over again it needs to be their decision. It can’t be, uh, your decision as a parent. It can’t just be my decision that they get better or make these choices. I coach teens all the time that need motivation to stop procrastinating or to, uh, stop vaping. I’ve coached a couple of teens on that or stop whatever and just start making the change in their life. And what I do is I get them to recognize what they actually want, and I’ll give you an example of how to go about doing this. 

DIANA: Okay? 

JOEY: So in the discipline office, I get kids that come in all the time that have gotten in trouble for something. I’ll take one of the many. A kid comes in. Let’s call him Billy. Billy comes in and I’m like, Billy, welcome. What’s up, man? Welcome back. Uh, I’m always excited to see him. And, uh, it always throws kids off because they’re like, mr. Masseyo, I’m in trouble. Why are you excited to see me? And I’m like, oh, I’m right. Come on in, because, uh, Darth Maul is coming out. 

DIANA: No, I know. 

JOEY: Um, and I sit them down and, um, I go, all right, Billy, so it looks like you got busted for weed again, all right? The, uh, principals have already talked to you. They’re figuring out what to do. They put you in here with me to kind of get some coaching, some counseling, as you kind of wait for what’s coming, uh, through that door very soon, probably your parents who are very ticked. Um, so let’s talk about your options going forward, shall we? And I love to do this. I create what I like to call a spider web M on my whiteboard, and I map out all of his options going forward. And I’m real about it. I’m like, all right. I always ask him what’s an option to do next time? And he’s like, not bring weed to school. Because that’s like, the patented answer. And he’s like, all right. I’m like, okay, yeah, that’s definitely an option. Not bring weed to school. Cool. But you also have the option to bring weed to school again, though, don’t you? He’s like, uh, well, I guess, yeah. I’m like, yeah. Ah, you totally do. And, uh, you also have the option to not smoke in that bathroom because you realize that you got caught in that bathroom, so you might find a better place to go smoke weed instead. Let’s write that down. All right, so we got three options up here, right? Smoke weed, don’t get caught. Smoke weed, get caught. Don’t bring weed. Right. I’ll just map out all of his choices and then I’ll say, okay, cool. Let’s follow each one of these strings, show each one of these webs, and figure out where it goes. What happens if you bring weed to school and you never get caught again, and you just smoke all the weeds you want and you’ll never get caught again? And he’s like, oh, man. Uh, that’d be pretty sweet, actually. 

All right, cool. And then what will happen if you can smoke weed as much as you want? And Billy said, well, man, if I smoke that much weed, I’d probably end up like my cousin. Uh, what’s up with your cousin? Well, he doesn’t really do much. Um, he’s graduated high school already, but he’s not really doing much with his life. He just lives in his parents basement, smokes weed and plays video games. Not really doing much. Okay, so that boom. Be like your cousin smoking weed, living the dream in your parents basement. 

DIANA: Awesome. 

JOEY: Okay, cool. Sure. If that’s what you want, right. Um, and then the next option is you smoke weed again at school and then you get caught. What’s going to happen? And they said, well, the principal just told me that I’m going to get expelled if you get caught again. Okay, and then where do you go? Oh, I want to go to that continue Asian school down the street. All right, then what? Well, I don’t want to go there, so I’d probably ditch a lot. All right, you ditch, ditch. And then what’s going to happen? Then? Um, I’m probably not going to graduate. Not going to graduate. And then what? Are we back to smoking weed in your parents basement? 

DIANA: Yeah. 

JOEY: Cool, right? Or maybe joining this gang over here. Uh, especially in the area that I work in, there’s a lot of gang stuff, so it’s like, all right, maybe you’re going to go join a gang or some dropouts. Do that and your family may be connected. Whatever. Cool. There’s that option. Let’s say you never bring weed, right? And I just go all down every single one. And once he sees his choices before him, then I go, all right, I have a very important question for you. What do you want? Like, what do you want your end to be? Mhm generally, I should say almost never has it happened where the team is like, oh, no, I want to do that thing where I join a gang and end up in prison or dying or smoking weed and just being a bum in my parents basement. And uh, these are all their words, not even mine. They never choose that. They always go, well, I actually want to own my own mechanic shop one day. I’m like, oh, cool. All right, own your own mechanic shop. Which one of these choices do you need to do? Which one of these paths do you need to take in order to end up at that goal? And they pick it themselves? I should probably stop bringing me to school. Yeah, you probably should. But it’s their choice. So as parents can do this exact same thing, and you do this by withholding judgment of your teen, which, again, is hard to do as a parent, and withholding, uh, any catastrophizing that your brain tends to do about your teen’s future. No, I can’t let them choose anything they want, because then they’re going to choose the bad thing and end up with the bad path. And that means I’m a bad parent, and it always means something about us in the end. I’m a bad parent when, um, it doesn’t need to mean anything about you. 

DIANA: Now it seems really clear why not worrying will help us show up as the kind of parent we want to show up as. Because if we are really worried about that stuff, we can’t be objective because we’ll have this ulterior motive to sharply direct them down what we think is the right path. All other paths are wrong. Like, we know what the exact right path should be. Because, by the way, how do we know that the right path isn’t for them to get busted for weed a second time? How do we know it’s not the right path for them to fail a class? I mean, I have three boys, aged 18, 20 and 22. They’re not perfect. Anyone in my, uh, facebook group knows. I showed up last week, and I’m like, listen not going to name which boy, but there was a police officer involved, okay? And I show up. So much better for him to figure out how to navigate it, to have some own peace and clarity for himself, to figure out how he wants to move forward when I believe everything’s going to be okay, which is maybe this is exactly how it was supposed to happen. Maybe he was supposed to get in the situation or with my other kids, maybe he’s supposed to fail a class. Maybe they’re supposed to have that friend hate them. Maybe they’re supposed to have a little depression, uh, when they’re not socially interactive, so that they know that they need that to take care of themselves in the future so it doesn’t happen later in life when they’re out on their own and they haven’t had a chance to figure it out. I mean, we just pretend we know the right way, and then we worry when it’s not that way, and then we’re not offering our best help to our teens. So I really appreciate you I saw that all come together. I’m hoping people listening are kind of like, oh, yeah. 

JOEY: If I may add one more thing to this, is that this is also taught in the Bible. Uh, if you look at the story of the prodigal son, everybody likes to focus on the prodigal son. But think about the parent. He let his son go. He not only let him go, he gave him his portion of the inheritance. Knowing who his son was. 

DIANA: Yeah. 

JOEY: He let him go because his son needed to go through that. Um, of course, he was probably worrying. As a parent, you always love your kid. All my students I work with know that I love them. Mhm. And they know that I want the best for them, but they know that no matter what they choose, I’m still there for them. That’s what it’s like to be the parent of a prodigal. Right.

DIANA: And willing to let them experience the natural consequences. 

JOEY: Yes. 

DIANA: If they take them down the road where they’re living in a van by the river or eating with the swine. 

JOEY: Yeah, exactly. That was probably not what, uh, the parent of the prodigal wanted his son wanted for his son either. But doing that keeps the doors open for your kid, no matter what choice they do. Not all of the teams that I coach make fantastical changes or the changes that they want, but they know that I’m always there and they’ve always come back. And they come back and they go, yeah, I didn’t do it this week, man. And for me, it’s not like I’m not disappointed. These were your goals. You told me what you wanted and I’m trying to help you get there. Are you fine with how it was? And sometimes you go, yeah, actually I’m fine with it. And they mean it, but, uh, most of the time they go, no, I’m not really fine with it. All right, let’s work some more, shall we? And they lead the work. 

DIANA: Yes. And then your role becomes the equipper and, uh, the trainer you mentioned the prodigal son. And I think of the proverb where it says, train up your child in the way that they should go. And I think sometimes as parents, we misconstrue that. Like, train up your child in the way she goes. Like, I need to make them go the way that I think is the right way for them to go. That’s not what it means. It means to teach. It’s like an offering, uh, an assistance, guidance, training. And then they still go out and do what they’re going to do. 

JOEY: Yeah. You have to let them govern themselves. 

DIANA: Yeah. And so you offer that as a coach, too. And like we said in the beginning, that gives you you’re more objective because, like in the disciplinary office, you’re like, yeah, okay, you smoked weed again. And like Mom’s in the other room, she might not talk to. You the same way as me, but, uh, you have the objective, this objective view. And so sometimes what a teen needs more than a parent who’s a little more invested is somebody who can give them very objective coaching and guidance and some outside perspective. So if you could just tell me, because, again, people ask me, can you coach my teen? Well, even if I could, does your teen want to be coached? I’m kind of thinking that. How do you know if a team is a good candidate to be coached? 

JOEY: There’s a great question. When I get asked all the time, the, uh, answer is really simple. You ask them if they want to be coached, right? Show them what it is first. I have a video on my website that explains what it is, because a lot of people, a lot of teens don’t even know what it is. They think it’s therapy, and it’s not, uh, the way I always explain it. And parents, you explain it to them. Look, therapy is to get people from below functioning up to functioning. Life coaching is to get people from functioning to optimal. Mhm, that’s where we work as life coaches. And so explain that to them if they get in and ask, hey, there’s this guy who works with teens, helping them accomplish their dreams and goals and getting over those regular, everyday struggles in life so you can live a more optimal life. Would you like to meet with them? And I always tell parents, make it seem exclusive, but tell them, hey, this is exclusive. I think I can get you in. Do you want to be in? Yeah. Uh, right. But ask them, and if they’re like, no, no way, then, mom, you need to be coached. Right? So, mhm Diana. 

DIANA: I’ll coach you. 

JOEY: Diana, uh, mom can coach you. Right. But it seems like, okay, maybe then. Okay, cool. That’s all we need. All we need is a maybe. I work very well with maybe. I don’t work at all with no’s. The kids are like, Nope, I do not want this. It’s very, very hard to coach a teen from a no, but. A maybe. But okay, I’ll see what it is. I just had a consult, uh, last Friday, where teen shows up and the parents are there and the teen’s arms are folded. And I can tell he’s like, Right? And he knows a little bit about thought work and things like that. And I said, you don’t look excited to be here. What do you think? And he’s like, Well, I think this is kind of a waste of time. I was like, Cool, dude. I respect that, bro. Right? And I send mom and dad away. I explain what it is to the team. And then I coached him. And at the end, when he went from, oh, man, this thing was impossible, to, oh, dude, I think I can do this. I asked him, I said, do you think this work is a waste of time now? And he goes, no, not at all. I’m like, boom. And then he signed up for my summer coaching program that I have going on. But they need to at least be a maybe. And you find that out by asking them, by talking with them about it. Don’t tell them you’re going to do this. 

DIANA: Yeah, well, okay, maybe we should get into it. You also have a podcast people can listen to, which I think is a great entry point for teens to be like, do I like Joey’s style? But if people are interested because like I said, they ask me, do I coach teens? No, you totally need to go check out Joey Mascio. So how do people connect with you? What’s going on? Tell me all the stuff. 

JOEY: All the stuff. So yes, I have a podcast. It’s called Secrets for An Awesome Life and it’s geared at teens and young adults. Write to them, I keep them 15 minutes long. There’s always a story, some humor involved, and then it’s one secret on how to make their life more awesome. And so have them listen to me there first, especially if they’re really, really against it, right? They get to see that I’m not a big, bad, scary, boring person. That’s usually their fear. 

DIANA: You’re not boring. 

JOEY: I’m not boring. Uh, so get them to look at that or to listen to that. And then, um, if they’re like, okay, I’m willing to work with the guy. So I have many different ways. And I do this on purpose because I know teens are at different levels. So the entry level work is my coaching membership. It’s me and three other certified coaches who are teen experts, have this monthly membership. There’s two dudes, there’s two gals. And I cultivated them specifically as people who work very, very well with teens. And it’s called the firmly founded teen. Uh, we’re moving to start doing weekly coaching workshops. We call the training room every week. And it’s fun. It’s me and multiple coaches on there. And we’re laughing, we’re talking with the teens. It’s very laid back. It’s almost like if your teen was hanging out after school with a couple of their favorite teachers. Uh, and so we did that. We have a slew of training videos for them to watch and they’re fun, and we all keep them short and all that. Uh, and then we get together once a month for a community event where we play games we played among us. We baked cookies for Valentine’s Day. We had a Connect Four tournament last year or last month. It was just awesome. And the teens can win gift cards throughout the whole program every month. 

DIANA: That’s fun. 

JOEY: Yeah. I’m a big believer in extrinsic motivation along with the intrinsic motivation, mostly for that fun stuff, right? Mhm. So go to firmlyfounded.com, Teen. Uh, and we have a 30 day free trial right now where it’s no risk. The teen signs up, checks it out. That’s the number one place I tell parents, uh, to take their teens first. 

DIANA: I had no idea you were doing a month for free. 

JOEY: Yeah, 30 days for free. I mean, teens got to test it out, right? 

DIANA: You guys coach parents as well, specifically about how to manage a relationship with their teen, right? 

JOEY: Specifically, yes. We have a parent membership called the firmly founded Parent. And, uh, there’s a discount if you get both, which is what we recommend to people. If your teens getting coached, you should be getting coached, too, and learning this kind of stuff. 

DIANA: Well, that’s huge, too. 

JOEY: Oh, yeah. We’re doing so much fun getting the. 

DIANA: Secrets of an Awesome Life. 

JOEY: Exactly. 

DIANA: Well, great. I really appreciate you being on and sharing that wisdom. Um, it’s a journey, so anyone listening if you’re like. Okay. I need to stop worrying. Well, you just work on it one bit at a time. Listen back to my podcast episodes about worry. I have them, Joey has them. Listen to the ones on anxiety and just take one step at a time to start down. Uh, the next step for you and your team. You don’t have to do it all at once. And if you want help, Joey and I are here to help you along the way. So I will make sure your links are in the podcast notes. People. Just go right to it and click and get right to you. And if you have any questions, um, all that information will be in there. So you guys can contact me or Joey. Anything else you want to say before we go? 

JOEY: Uh, parents, you are doing a great, great job. Trust me, you are doing phenomenal. You need, need to believe that you are doing great. Your teens choices don’t have any bearings on your, uh, level of failure or success. Keep on doing the stuff you feel you should be doing. Get additional training to help you as well. And, um, you and your teen are going to be just fine. 

DIANA: I totally echo that. You’re exactly the parent you’re supposed to be. You’re doing it just fine. Everything’s going to be fine. All right, y’all, that is it for this week, so I will talk to you next week. Take care, you. 

As an advanced, certified life coach, I help Christian women trying to live their best lives, but they still feel unsatisfied and stuck. I teach thought management skills that work so you can enjoy life again and step into who God has created you to be. Don’t forget to head on over to Rympodcast.com to get my free resources or a free coaching call. I’ll keep recording because just in case you say something fun here in the end, I’m pretty sure I’ll get a blooper reel with you. 

JOEY: Nice. Bloopers are the best. 

DIANA: They are. Okie, here we go. 

JOEY: And start so how’d I do? 

DIANA: That was great, Joey. 

JOEY: Oh, good. Use my sultry voice. 

DIANA: People tell me all the time I have a soothing voice. 

JOEY: You do. You have such a soothing voice. I feel like my voice sounds like a frog going through a blender. 

DIANA: I don’t think so. I would be more like that is not what you sound like. 

JOEY: Okay, true. It feels like that sometimes. 

DIANA: I have these lozenges give me your Mad Hatter voice. 

JOEY: You want the Mad Hatter voice? 

DIANA: I do. 

JOEY: You have to ask the Mad Hatter a question if you want him to show up. 

DIANA: What kind of questions do people ask the Mad Hatter? 

JOEY: Oh, you’ve never asked the Mad Hatter a question? Oh, my gosh. 

DIANA: It’s so awesome. Well, Mad Hatter will definitely make it the blooper reel. Got that audio. JOEY: Yay. 

DIANA: Thanks so much for hanging out and doing with us doing this with me today. It was a lot of fun.

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