I’m Diana Swillinger, and you’re listening to the Renew Your Mind podcast. Episode 73 How a Life Coach Stays Mentally Healthy.
DIANA: Hey. Hey, everybody. How are you doing? I hope you are very well. I am well. In fact, that’s what I’m going to talk to you about today, how I stay. Well, you ready? Let’s just jump right in. I get a lot of my ideas from my clients. You guys, they are amazing, amazing women, and I love every single conversation I have with them. So I get a lot of my great ideas for podcasts from them and from the Renew Your Mind community on Facebook. But recently, in one of my calls, one of my clients, she said, you always seem even tempered and confident and things like that. She said a few more things, and she asked, how do you do it? She’s like, I know you have all these life coaching tools and all that that you teach us, but is that it? So, uh, I gave her a peek into my own practices and a peek behind the curtain to my own struggles a little bit, and I thought that it would be helpful for me to share this with all of you as well.
It’s true. Generally, I’m fine and confident and even keeled and all that. That’s pretty normal for me. But I do still have all the other emotions. Do I ever feel overwhelmed or anxious or sad or that stuff? Yeah, of course I do. But I understand my client asking because I could just think something different and not feel that stuff, right? I have a mind shift tool. What you think, what you feel, what you do. If you change what you think, it’ll change how you feel. It’ll change what you do. And I could just do that all the time and feel amazing all the time. But I don’t like I always say, God gave us all the emotions. To always think something different and not feel uncomfortable emotions would be like becoming a robot, in my opinion. I don’t think that’s reality. I don’t think that’s us being humans, it’s far from reality. I don’t think it’s healthy. Our bodies were created and need to function, and they function properly by having all the emotions, by using all our hormones, by not, like, shutting off certain parts of how we function or what the physiological experience is with all of that.
That’s what it is. The brain sending out hormones and nerve impulses and energy and all that stuff. We’re not supposed to shut part of it off. That’s not what makes us healthy. Experiencing all of it in a healthy way is what makes us healthy. Okay, I like using examples and I know this isn’t a perfect example, but let’s just say we could just always eat sweet foods, right? They’re rich, they’re sweet, they’re yummy, and we could deprive ourselves of salt because then we’ll retain water and it’s not good for us or whatever we think. But then our bodies get out of balance because we actually need some salt in some sweet. And just like the foods, we’re not just going to stay in the sweet emotions and deprive ourselves of discomfort or the other emotions. We will also get out of balance. And have you ever noticed or imagine maybe you’ve noticed or you could just imagine if we just eat sweet. I’ve done this in a day where I’m like, gee, all I’ve eaten is sweet all day. Now I’m sick of sweet. I need something salty or I need something sour, right? The sweet just doesn’t even taste good anymore if we don’t contrast it with something salty or something sour. And our pleasant emotions also will not feel as pleasant if we don’t balance them out with emotions that contrast it. They may be uncomfortable, but they offer us a contrast. And honestly, the more we experience some of these emotions that we think are uncomfortable, the less uncomfortable they get. Kind of like, uh, I’m a guitar player and when I don’t play for a while, my fingers, they get really sore from pushing on the strings because that pressure of a hard metal string against my fingers, they hurt. But after a while, my fingers build up calluses and it’s no longer uncomfortable to push on those strings.
Our emotions can do that, too. Some of them are always going to be uncomfortable, but some of them, we get used to them and they’re really not that bad. So how does a life coach do all that and stay able to feel joy and peace and confidence through it all? Here’s where we’re getting into some of the when I’m answering that question. What does a life coach do to stay mentally healthy? Okay, I do all the things that I teach on this podcast. I don’t teach you guys things that I don’t do. And I know there’s a lot, I don’t do them all the time, but I do thought dumps. I use the mind shift tool. That is the most common thing I use. That is the most helpful for me. I take baby steps towards my goals and new habits. I give myself lots of grace because I recognize I am human. I call myself human. And humans always make mistakes till the day they die. And I recognize that in me. I’ll narrate my life. Like, this is the part where I think I’m doing it wrong.
This is the part where I still think I’m doing it wrong. This is the part where I remember doing it wrong is only an opinion, and I don’t have to think that. Or this is the part where I stress over something my adult son is thinking of doing. This is the part where I release it to God and I remember, it’s not my responsibility. It’s his and God’s. Okay, so all the things I talk about on this podcast, I do them. Um, not every day. I might use the mind shift tool in my head a few times a month. There might be a week where I use it every day. Or I might go three weeks and not use it. It all depends. I might do the thought dump once in a while, or I might do it five times in a weekend. I might forget about baby steps until I feel overwhelmed. And then I’m like, oh, I need to parse this out into some baby steps so I’m not overwhelmed. All right, so I use all these tools that I teach you guys. What else do I do? I have had mild situational depression. I call it. Um, and I’ve had some mild seasonal depression. I’ve had some mild I mean, usually it’s mild because I haven’t needed, um, a medicine for it, but I’ve had that in my life for a couple of decades. And stress and anxiety. So I take a B complex vitamin every day. It’s great for the nervous system. It gives it nutrition that it needs to function properly. And I have this Chinese herbal blend in a capsule that I take for mood.
That’s what helps keep me from going into depression. For me, that really, really works. When I don’t take them, I notice my nervous system is more jumpy and anxiety will creep back in more often. Um, or I might slip into that dull, lack of motivation depressive feeling where I’m like, who cares? Whatever. I’m not going to do anything. Um, and I just don’t feel invested in anything. I don’t really care about other people. And I fall into that state if I don’t take those. So I take those every day, and it’s so much better. Yes, our thoughts are a precursor to our emotions, but often our body’s systems need extra nutrients to function optimally, especially if we’ve strained them in the past. And I did. I’ve had symptoms consistent with cPTSD where my Adrenals were totally out of whack for months, and actually, at one point, it was for years and some other things like that. And so I feed my body what it needs to help it function well. And I do it with foods and other things too.
For me, this works. Some people will do it with antidepressants or antianxiety meds too. Maybe they do it for a time. Maybe they do it for the rest of their lives. These can be super helpful. And I also implore you to have zero judgment for yourself for helping your bodies function well in those areas. If there’s chemical imbalances, hormonal imbalances, if there’s medicines or supplements or whatever that help, these are awesome tools. I’ve also talked about water and sleep before. These are priorities for me. They’re essential for me having stable moods. If I am sleep deprived, I will tell my family. Otherwise, they’re just going to see that I’m totally stressed out and they’re going to wonder what it is. But if I’m like, oh you guys, I haven’t had enough sleep. And so you might see me acting different today. They’re all like, oh, okay. And they don’t take it personally. In the area of physicality too, I walk, I exercise. It varies. Sometimes I’m really consistent, sometimes not. But I try to go for a walk or do some cardio. And, uh, not heavy cardio, just something three to six times a week. I’ll do a few exercises for some muscle strength. Nothing over the top, but I keep my body moving. I keep the blood flowing and it moves oxygen through the body into the brain and to all the cells and the adrenals and the nerves. And, uh, it keeps the fluids moving. And our systems, our bodily systems function better, which is where we process emotions in our bodies.
There’s so many stories of doctors who are baffled by the symptoms that some of their patients have and they have no disease to point it to. Lo and behold, they’ll come to find out later it’s been because of emotional strain. This happens all the time. We need to keep our brains and our bodies healthy. Okay, so what else do I do? I have a support system. I think of them m as my team. Some of them have been on my team for a long time. Some are new, some come and go. These are people that I can text or, uh, call or get together with whenever I need to. Because life is challenging to navigate for every single one of us. It’s not like now I’m a life coach and life isn’t hard to navigate anymore. It’s still hard to navigate. But doing it alone is much harder. So I have my people. Some are family, some are friends, some are professionals.
A female pastor, a counselor who’s also a friend. Um, just a friend friend, a sister. These people that are on my team here’s something very, very important about them. They never judge me. They have my best interest at heart. They will speak truth. They don’t worry about how I’m going to take the truth. That’s up to me. But they will speak truth. And they breathe life. When I say breathe life, I mean they don’t drain me. They feed me. If I spend time with somebody and they drain me, that is a negative impact on my physical and mental health. If I spend time with people and they feed me and I feel better for having been in their presence that is breathing life. They love and respect me and I love and respect them. Sometimes I need to do a verbal thought dump. People on my team are great for that. Sometimes I need to be sarcastic and laugh. Sometimes I need to be honest. And sometimes, um, I need some hard input and I need them to be honest. Sometimes I need to hear my thoughts back in their words. Sometimes I need silence and just to be in someone’s presence. Sometimes I need a hug, whatever it may be. And I give all of that same stuff back to them, everyone on my team. It’s a two way of love and appreciation and investing in each other.
Because giving back to them is just as much nutrition for me. And, um, m my mental health and me feeding my own value system, um, and giving me positive endorphins is just as important as receiving from them. It’s reciprocal, it’s loving, it’s non judgmental, it’s honest. It’s my team, it’s my people. I always have them. And this one is kind of like having people, too. But there are other things I do, I’m sure. But these are the main things that came to my mind today, then, that I shared with my client when she asked me the question of how I stay in an even temperament and confident myself and all that. But one of the other and the last one I’ll give you today, one of the most important things I do is I use counseling and coaching for myself. I am a client right now. I have a business coach, a relationship coach, and a life coach. I don’t meet with them all the time, but I get coached at least two times a month. And I have had counselors when I need them. And I believe I’ll do counseling again at some point in my life. It is my belief that every great counselor and every great life coach gets counseled and coached by other great counselors and life coaches.
Think about it just like a hairstylist. The hairstylist going to get great results on their hair by cutting it themselves or having somebody else cut it. I mean, I know some hairstylists who can cut their hair pretty well, but generally they’re going to get much better results by hiring another hairstylist to cut their hair. It’s kind of hard to see the back of your head or the nape of your neck. So in the same way, a life coach is going to get much better results in the important things by hiring another life coach rather than just relying on self coaching. I mean, a lot of the time I am really great at coaching myself. I am like a little trim here or there or let’s straighten that part, or hey, that curl is out of control. Just like I can style my own and wash my own hair and all that kind of stuff, right? I take care of my hair as a coach, I coach myself a lot. I can make a, uh, mind shift that I need to help me feel better or create the outcome I want. I’m really good at it, but sometimes there is something going on that’s harder for me to see or to access or figure out.
I need someone else to help me. And so I always have some great coaches, and I do right now. They really help me see what’s going on in my brain and where I’m stuck, where I can’t quite see it, and that is invaluable. And that’s what I do with my clients. I love offering that to my clients. And I think in all our lives, there’s a time when we’ve taken it as far as we can go on our own. And the next level or the next AHA moment or that next moment of relief is right around the corner. We just need someone to help us get there. If you have a coach or mentor that does that for you or a counselor, awesome. Um I love it. I’m so glad you’re doing that. If you don’t, I think now’s the perfect time to take the next step towards relief. Now is the perfect time to get that AHA moment that takes you to the next step, and it makes your next steps clear. Now is the perfect time to accept the helping hand that you need to get you unstuck in feeling more peace and more joy in your life.
If that’s you, I invite you to try a free Mind Shift coaching call with me. I think now is the perfect time. The link for you to sign up for your free Mind Shift coaching call will be in the show description. If you want to give that a whirl, all you have to do is click on it and it will take you right to my calendar, and you can select a time that works for you. You just stick in your name and your email and everything. The details on how to join on Zoom will be emailed right to your inbox. It’s super easy. The link will also be on my podcast page. Well, it’s always there. www.rympodcast.com. So go sign up, and I can’t wait to see you on your upcoming coaching call with me, and we’ll get you unstuck and get you the mind shift that you need for that next level. All right, I always hope that was helpful, and I know it always helps somebody. So take what you learn here. Renew your mind, get more joy and peace in your life. It is possible. All right, that’s it for today, you all. So I will catch you next week. Until then, take care of you.
As an advanced certified life coach, I help Christian women trying to live their best lives, but they still feel unsatisfied and stuck. Uh, I teach thought management skills that work so you can enjoy life again and step into who God has created you to be. Don’t forget to head on over to Rympodcast.com to get my free resources or a free coaching call.
