Podcast Episode 75 – A Mind Shift Story

Jul 2, 2023 | Podcast

I’m Diana Swillinger, and you’re listening to the Renew Your Mind podcast. Episode 75 A Mind Shift Story.  

DIANA: Hey. Hey, everybody. How are you? I’m awesome. I mean, I wish summer was an ending, but I know what will return next year and, um, I can be patient, so I’ll just enjoy what we have left. So that’s about it. I mean, my daughter’s going back to school. I’ve got adult kids in technical college and university and job hunting and all that. So it’s kind of a busy time, but just loving my life so much to be grateful for. All right, well, last week I was searching for an email and I found a different email. Not the one I was searching for. It’s an email a client sent me about a year ago. And I was like, I remember that. That was so good. So I emailed her right away and I’m like, can I share this on the podcast? I mean, I won’t give anything away, like, exactly who you are, so it can still be private, change the names to protect all the innocent. But she said, sure, go ahead. 

So that’s what I’m going to do. Um, every week I send out an email. It’s called thinking on a Thursday. If you don’t get it yet, why not? I don’t know, but you can go sign up for it at rympodcast.com. But I send out a weekly email. I don’t spam email. I’m not trying to sell anybody anything. I just send one a week and I try to make it helpful. Anyways, it’s usually things I’m pondering. I call it thinking on a Thursday. So my client, a year ago, she sent me an email on a Saturday, and she called it Thinking on a Saturday. I’m like, what is this? Is, uh she replying to my email, I didn’t call it Saturday. And I realized it was her thinking on a Saturday. So I wanted to share this with you because it was a great example of how a renewed mind works. This isn’t all cleaned up, um, to try to make it pretty or make some really amazing podcasts out of it. 

This is just a real look into someone’s brain in what she journaled about what was going on and how she was noticing a mind shift and she wanted to share it with me. Okay. It’s real. When we do this work, we still don’t know how to navigate every moment in every situation immediately. But we’re aware of what’s happening. We start being able to recognize our emotions and we take responsibility for all of it, and we get to be intentional then with how we want to move through it or move forward in a different direction, or it’s the tools in action as we navigate life circumstances imperfectly, but with more joy, more hope, more peace. All of that. Okay, so here we go. A coaching client’s renewed mind, navigating life like a human. Oh, yeah. Just as I’m looking at it here, I want to remind or tell you not remind you, tell you. She broke it out into sections, so I will pause and then read the title of each section as we go. All right, here we go. So good. Diana, I took some time to write some things out. It’s kind of long, but I wanted to share it with you. The cycle two weeks ago was challenging. There was some drama at work, and I was bottling up unprocessed emotions. The perfect storm. When I get sad and frustrated and overwhelmed, I start to feel lonely, sorry for myself, and I want to give up. My boyfriend and I broke up. I thought it would be easier for the breakup to happen because I felt like it was the right thing. But I felt sad, lonely, and grief. I did not process my emotions. I ignored them. Then, um, I got even more sad and lonely and sensitive. I started a new job. I felt pressure from my responsibilities, responsibilities my boss gave me and responsibilities I gave myself. I felt stressed and insecure. I complained to my friend. I felt sorry for myself. I blamed others. I got frustrated with myself and my coworkers, and it all contributed to my sensitive emotions. I set up a meeting at work to ask for help, and no one came. I thought my coworkers and boss didn’t care. I thought it was about me. I felt let down by my team and disappointed. I cried. I went home early. I got frustrated, still needed help, and I contributed to tense emotions at work. In a conversation with a friend, she told me I was not supporting her. I thought she was selfish, and I felt resentment. I avoided talking to her. The next day, I judged her. I felt frustration, insincere feelings, and felt sorry for myself. Again, I did not process my frustration or disappointment. I wanted to control other people. I felt overwhelmed. I got stuck in a pity cycle. I was the victim, and everyone was against me. 

That was section one. Next, breaking the cycle. In a conversation with a friend last week, she challenged me to turn every negative thought into a positive one. She reminded me that our challenges are a superpower. We each have our own. She told me that we can let our challenges drag us down that’s easy, or we can choose to use our challenges for good, to help others and as an enabling strength. Kind of like Diana’s question on the self assessment worksheet. Which weaknesses are actually strengths sometimes in your life? These last few weeks, I learned a little bit more what it means to process my feelings. Listen to Diana’s podcast on control and grief and expectations of others. I learned more what is and what is not in my domain. Now I have a choice to make. Am I going to put in the effort to practice feeling uncomfortable? Am I going to embrace all the emotions I experience? Or am I going to stay the same? I know what I get when I stay the same and choose the emotions that come with that. But I could try something different. What could I get if I had different thoughts, feelings and actions? Looking back, I can see I was in a difficult situation. I did not want to let go of my boyfriend. I’m learning to process emotions better in the future. I want to process frustration, disappointment and grief differently in a healthy and not destructive way. The Plan what would a plan be like that would look like still experiencing those feelings? Handling those feelings differently would be recognizing those feelings earlier and taking a break from the situation. If I’m not able to take a break immediately, I can take some deep breaths immediately. It is in my domain to take time to process my emotions. I can take a break in the bathroom. I can go to lunch and take a break. I could nap in my room. I could leave work at 05:00 p.m. Instead of 08:00 p.m. 

I could write down my emotions to process over the weekend. Practice. This is her next section. Practice putting it into practice. Here we go. Last week, I had an opportunity to practice frustration. I felt uncomfortable when a guy in my section at work made comments about my performance and decisions. I felt frustrated. I thought he was rude and stepping into my lane. I went to the bathroom to think about my emotions. I realized I was feeling frustrated and that he was not making those comments because of me. He was making those comments because of him. He did not know the truth about the situation. Now I had two choices. I could ignore the comment or I could teach and inform him. Neither one would require me to be offended or frustrated. Last week, I also had an opportunity to practice processing disappointment. I thought my boss was not prioritizing my projects. I felt uncomfortable when my boss did not respond to my email about a meeting I set up. I noticed disappointment and frustration were creeping in. But instead of staying in frustration, I went to talk to my boss and asked her if she was planning on coming to the meeting. She confirmed that she was coming despite not responding to my email and we held the meeting. I was proactive to solve my frustration and able to move on. Last week, I also had an opportunity to practice processing insecurity. I thought I didn’t know as much as others in the room, and I would not be able to contribute. I felt uncomfortable as I sat in a meeting with all the high ranking members of the team. I felt unsure about how to contribute. I thought I would detract from the meeting by asking questions. I took a deep breath. I gave my best answer, and I told myself, I am doing the best I can with the knowledge that I have. Then I spent my time searching the room for evidence that the people in the room supported me, instead of evidence that they were annoyed by me. I decided they wanted me to learn. They wanted to trust in me and that they were trying to help me. And I continued to remind myself of that. I made a list of topics that I would study so I could better be prepared for the next meeting. I know I will have lots of opportunities to practice noticing, allowing, and processing emotions, and I’m looking forward to continuing to learn. 

Thanks for your help, Diana. You really are a mind magician. I want to say thank you to my client for allowing me to share that. And I want to say this hey, girl, you know who you are. Who’s the mind magician now? Oh, yeah. All right, y’all, that’s it for today, so I will catch you next week. Take care of you. 

As an advanced certified life coach, I Help Christian women trying to live their best lives, but they still feel unsatisfied and stuck. I teach thought management skills that work so you can enjoy life again and step into who God has created you to be. Don’t forget to head on over to Rympodcast.com to get my free resources or a free coaching call.

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