Podcast Episode 85 – Family Stress, Winter Sadness, & Habits

Jul 3, 2023 | Podcast

DIANA: Recording in progress. 

Rianon: Mhm, I have to tell you that I’m a walking advertisement for you. 

DIANA: Oh, sweet. 

Rianon: Yeah. Someone that I’ve known for a few years, who goes to my church, said she just noticed a difference in me. And then she also has been listening to your podcast and was saying about how positive you are. She said she’s been through a lot in her life and she’s a very positive person, but she said that it’s helped listening to you. 

DIANA: Wow, that’s awesome. I think I’m going to stick this little recording in the podcast. Rianon: All right. 

DIANA: You, uh, just did a commercial. All right. How many questions do we have? 

Rianon: Three questions. 

DIANA: Okay. I’ll try to plan accordingly. Here we go. Hey, everybody. Welcome to another episode with Rianon. And that means dun dun listener. Um, questions, which is so fun. I can’t wait. Welcome, Rianon. 


Rianon: Hi. 

DIANA: Hi. Once again, you know what I was going to tell you before we recorded. I’ll just tell you now that we started recording. I had a coaching call last night and the person said, I have to tell you how much I appreciate your episodes with Rianon. The way you guys talk, the things she adds, the way you both respond to the questions and share your insight is so valuable. And I love those episodes. So I told you. 

Rianon: Awesome. Yeah, that’s great to hear. And, um, we always get good questions, but I think today especially, we have great questions today that I think those of you listening right now are really going to appreciate. 

DIANA: I’m excited. Okay, well, let’s just jump in then. What do you got for me? 

Rianon: Okay, so the first question that I have for you is from Andy, and she says, what is the difference between feeling and processing an emotion and relying on willpower in order to change a habit? 

DIANA: Well, I wonder why she’s asking those together. 

Rianon: Right. It almost seems like there’s like, two questions in there. They all tie together, but I thought they were really good questions that I think some other people might be wondering about. 


DIANA: Yeah, well, one thing I think about the fact that she put these two together, she’s noticing a correlation. And so I’m wondering if it’s well, I mean, we want to change a habit when we have a bad habit. So I’m guessing there’s a bad habit to be changed. Um, like, for me, I don’t know. Is having coffee every morning within five minutes of waking up a bad habit? It might be. 

That might be something I want to change. Maybe I want to drink water instead of coffee and have a little coffee later. Who knows, right? Or, um, I had a habit of turning to alcohol instead of processing my emotions. That’s what came to my mind with these two linked together. And so I don’t know what she’s thinking of with a habit. It could be all sorts of things, but a lot of times we turn to something habitual that gives us some relief because it releases positive endorphins or it’s a distraction, um, like TV. Or it brings up a different, better emotion. Like, if we go exercise, we might feel accomplished or empowered or energized or something. And we can often turn to these things habitually in a way that prevents us from, um, processing our feelings or processing an emotion. So I guess, in general, I’d like to say that it’s both appropriate to sometimes process feelings and sometimes turn to something else and either not process the feeling at that moment, or maybe we don’t, even if it’s something minor, maybe it’ll just kind of process on its own without us being deliberate about it. But when we’re noticing, and she’s noticing this probably in a way where she’s feeling like, um, it’s not like a plus in her life. It’s more of a minus. 


Uh, the question I guess I’m wondering is if she’s wondering when do I process the feeling or when do I just try to white knuckle it and not do the habit that I don’t want to do? So I would say, Willpower, to change a habit. Um, I never teach that. I never teach. Let’s try to change a habit by, like, think really hard. Um, just do it. Because when we try to do that, that willpower called white knuckling it. We’re skipping over what’s going on in our thoughts and what’s going on in our feelings that are taking us to that place where we’re indulging in a habit. And so we never really resolve the problem. So in this case, you want to stop a habit. I think she’s noticing she’s got feelings that need some processing in order to not just willpower doesn’t last, I guess is another way to look at it. Right. So many times, um, we use examples from our own lives. And so for me, again, drinking was one of the big ones. And I drank for several years. Um, off the top of my head, I don’t know how many, but it was a long time, and I quit many times. I decided to I was determined I was going to do it without ever paying attention to what feelings are causing me to turn to drinking? What feelings am I ignoring? What feelings need to be processed? What’s going on in my life? 


So all I ever did, I think, the longest, I quit well, I quit drinking whenever I was pregnant. So that was a long time. That was a willpower decision. Like, I’m not going to drink while I’m pregnant. So there but there are other times that I quit. I think the longest I ever went was about a month. There could have been one to three months somewhere in that time frame where I just tried to quit with willpower, and we can do it. I just think that’s when we struggle, that’s when we go back and we’re like, dang it, I’m back in this habit again. Because we never address the feelings that we were trying to avoid by turning to that habit in the first place. 


Rianon: Right? 

DIANA: So if there is a habit that you want to change, I think it’s always appropriate to notice what feelings are happening before you go do that thing. A more benign thing for me, um, which I haven’t eaten double stuffed Oreos for a while now. If the boys buy them for me, my boys, because they know I love them, and then they’re in the house, I eat them. But when I would buy them and I knew they were there, that, uh, was an experience because I was a life coach at this point, I’m like, I already ate two after lunch, and now I’m feeling like I have to go eat more. What is this? What’s going on? Why am I doing that? Um and sometimes it’s just because habits are somewhat addictive, right? But, um, that really gave me an opportunity to stop and decide, what’s going on for me? What am I actually feeling in my body? And you can start with either place. Start with noticing what you’re thinking about, because sometimes we’re ruminating over and over and over on thoughts or what is it that I’m feeling? And I know a lot of clients of mine are like, I don’t know what I’m feeling, because we get really good at ignoring our feelings, and we’re like we talk like a toddler. I’m mad, I’m sad. I’m glad. And that’s about all we can muster up. And we’re like, I don’t really know what it is, because we’re not in touch with what’s going on. 


So I always recommend googling a color or, uh, it’s not a color wheel. Looks like a color wheel. It’s the emotional wheel. And it’s got I don’t know how many, I never counted, but it seems like 100 emotions or more are, um, on there. And you can start at the center with those mad, glad, sad ones, and you can then push your way out the wheel and get a little if I was to dial it in a little more, what am I feeling? If I was to dial it in a little more, what am I feeling? And then sometimes, once you get to that I just did it the other day, I’m like, I don’t know what I’m feeling. I was sad, and for hours, I just kept playing with it. I’m like, okay, I want to go deeper. What is it? And I did finally land. I went back and forth between thoughts and feelings, thoughts and feelings, and I was like, oh, I’m feeling rejected, mhm. Thanksgiving plans were getting made without me when I thought I was going to be part of the Thanksgiving plans. And I feel rejected. Mhm and once I did that, I was able to process it. Now, that’s not in relation to going to a habit, but that is an example of identifying what you’re feeling instead of trying to push it away and just going to do a habit. I also want to say don’t kick yourself if you go do a habit. I just talked to somebody, another client the other day about, uh, emotional eating. She’s like, I don’t want to emotionally eat. But she does emotionally eat and she’s lost a lot of weight. And now she’s maintaining a weight. She’s been there for a little while and she’s like, I don’t want to emotionally eat. I’m like, well, why? And what we ended up just deciding for now where she’s going to keep exploring it is emotionally eating sometimes in and of itself isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Is it dragging you down? Is it adding a lot of minuses to your life? Is it detrimental to your health, to your well being, to your emotional state? 


Then let’s take a look at it and let’s see what you want to change with it. But if it’s just on Sunday, you get stressed and you eat two cookies. And so that’s emotional eating, but that’s about it. Is that causing a bunch of negatives in your life? Or is that just a nice moment where you get to soothe yourself with some cookies? That’s really bad thing, right? So I did a little guesswork on exactly what she was looking for, but, um, I hope that’s helpful. Andy, there’s no right answer, but check in and see if the habit is a negative thing in your life. And if so, then check in with what your feelings are and it’ll give you a lot of leverage in stopping it. And not all habits are bad too. I have a habit of brushing my teeth every night and every morning. So, I mean, that’s a good habit.


Rianon: That is, uh, and I really hope that having coffee right after you wake up is not a bad habit either. I think a lot of us are in trouble. 

DIANA: I’ve heard that coffee has toxin or, um, helps get rid of toxins. 

Rianon: Right. 

DIANA: It’s good for you. 

Rianon: I’m sure it is. 

DIANA: I can just Google, how is coffee good for me? And I find tons of information. 

Rianon: Yes, that’s what I would do. 

DIANA: I’ve never Googled, how is coffee bad for me, though? 

Rianon: Yeah, don’t do that. Uh, yeah, um, I like the way you saw that connection right away with, uh, that question. And um, I know too, like you mentioned, sometimes when you’re first trying to figure it out. Um, you don’t know. Um, and I was thinking, too, with those habits, whether it’s going to alcohol or food or whatever it is for us, um, that if we’re unaware, if we’ve been doing it for so long, it just seems automatic. It seems like the circumstances causing the behavior and how it is kind ah of breaking that, um, process that seems so automatic and figuring it out. And like you were saying, too, if it doesn’t quite feel right, keep going. Like, as you were looking at the feelings wheel and going, I feel sad. Well, what is it? Because it is that sense of relief once you get to it, where you’re like, oh, okay. And I like to how you mentioned going back and forth between thoughts and emotions, because it’s both. And I know that’s what you teach, they’re all connected. Um, so just being aware of that, because sometimes, too, it’s like, okay, well, the difference between processing and feeling and emotions, sometimes I can go, oh, I’m anxious. But if I’m not really trying to identify my thoughts or kind of look into it, it can build versus kind, uh, of allowing myself to investigate a little bit more and think about it, um, where I think maybe the processing happens. So, um, just really interesting to see how you kind of related that all together. Uh, it’s all connected. It is, absolutely. The next question that we have is from Mary, and she says, when so many stressful situations are happening in your family, how do you reduce anxiety? Prayers are helpful, but still anxiety takes over. I already take a lot of walks to help and do breathing techniques to relax, but it is still affecting my sleep. 


DIANA: Okay. This is an awesome question. And I think women in our culture, in families, this is something that happens for all of us. We really care about other people, the other people in our life that we love. We care about them having a decent experience in their life. We would love to save them from having conflict. We’d like to not have conflict between us and them. We’d like for them to have enough money and not do drugs and just have a nice life. And that’s just not what happens for anyone. And as a mom, and I don’t know when she’s talking about stressful situation in family, I don’t know which direction she’s going in. The family upsideways down. There’s all different directions. But, um, as a mom, we really hope our kids are going to have an amazing life. They’re not going to get bullied at school. They’re going to get good grades. They’re going to get a decent education. They’re going to go to college. They’re going to get a job that pays well with good benefits, and they’re going to like that job and not have problems at the job and be able to get a car that doesn’t break down and get married and not have marital problems. And we are going to get along with their spouse and it’s all going to be happy. And then when it’s not, we think something’s gone wrong. I’m saying nothing’s gone wrong. This is the human experience. 


So our brain really wants to just resolve everything by having no problems. Like, if there’s no problems, I don’t have to be stressed and have anxiety, and then I can sleep. If there’s going to be problems, I’m going to have stress and anxiety and I can’t sleep. And if we could just make all the problems go away, then everything would be okay. But that’s just not the way it is. We could have lots of long philosophical, theological discussions on why does everybody have to have, uh, suffering and problems? But that’s not the point right now. The point is that is the way it is. And when we resist that and we think, there shouldn’t be conflict between my brothers, there shouldn’t be, um, problems at the Thanksgiving dinner table, there shouldn’t be anyone doing drugs, there shouldn’t be, um, custody battles, who knows? Whatever it is, it shouldn’t be. But we’re wrong about that because that’s the way it is. So one way to settle down the stress from stuff in the family is to just accept the reality of our life on Earth is having. Sometimes there’s conflict, conflict, sometimes there’s problems to solve. Sometimes people do things we don’t agree with. That’s normal. So what is the point in getting stressed out about the normal occurrence of life? 


Rianon: Yeah, the examples that you’re listing, I’ve noticed a lot of them are kind of behavioral things like choices. People are making, um, and conflict because of those choices. But what about suffering when it’s more like physical suffering? I guess what I’m asking I feel like I have a lot of friends in my life right now who have a lot of, um, stress or need, um, for example, I mean, I do have a friend who has terminal cancer. Um, she’s a young mom with three little kids. And I know another person who has a, ah, child with SMA, which is like a disease that slowly wastes away the muscles. So it’s like this chronic stress of physical things. Is it the same? Would you say that the solution? I mean, not that there’s a solution, but would you say that the solution to feeling better is the same as that, or is that different? 


DIANA: exactly the same. Is it the same as much as it is? Think of the mind shift tool. What you think, what you feel, what you do. If what we’re concerned about here is what we feel, like stress the answer. Whether it’s somebody has cancer or someone’s doing drugs, the answer to reduce stress or to feel something different than stress or anxiety is to think about it differently. Sure, every time. 

Rianon: But don’t you also think that it’s appropriate to feel some of those negative emotions if you have someone that you love and deeply care about who is going through this situation. DIANA: Yeah, well, there’s a difference between feeling stress and feeling grief or sadness or, um, empathy, compassion. So, yes, there’s a difference. I also want to say it’s not that we should never feel the stressful emotions that God gave us. Okay. So sometimes we’re going to feel dread or fear, um, anticipation. Like, I think of when my dad got the final, uh, prognosis for cancer, the doctors like, you have two to three months. And so that and dread and anticipation, how was I going to not feel that? 

Rianon: Right? 

DIANA: But I didn’t need to add anything additional on top of it. Like, this shouldn’t be happening. Mhm my dad shouldn’t be the one dying from cancer. He’s supposed to live until his 90s. He does P 90 X and he takes bike rides and he’s run marathons and he eats healthy, eats salad every day. This wasn’t supposed to happen to him. Except when I think all that, I’m just exasperating anxiety and stress and worry and all that kind of stuff. 

Rianon: Sure. So it almost sounds like in order to handle those difficult emotions well, it’s like we almost need to have the courage or the I guess courage is maybe the right answer. Or the willingness to feel those difficult emotions. Because obviously, feeling grief and, um, dread or any other of those emotions are not fun emotions. They’re not things that we enjoy feeling. But, uh, you’re saying, like, this is a part of life and we are going to feel those. But all these other thoughts, like you said, it shouldn’t be this way. I think a lot of times that is the thought that we have is it shouldn’t be like, why is this happening to this person? They do this. All those things that you just said, I think are so common for those of us who are going through that. So you’re saying being willing to feel the actual feelings that are appropriate for that situation, and there are these things we can do to limit the added, uh, feelings of anxiety and stress, that maybe we don’t need to have that on top of it. Maybe we will sometimes, but we can do things to reduce that. 


DIANA: Yeah, absolutely. My prayer life sometimes has me noticing where my thoughts are on it. Because if I pray for someone, like one of my kids is having a hard time or something, and I’m praying God, come in there and change the circumstances. Make his roommate start acting this way, and please make his classes easier and all this kind of stuff. What I’m tripping myself up on is now I’m asking God, just change the circumstances so he can feel better. Where when I’m saying accept what is is like, well, can I pray, God? Can you help my son grow through this? Can you help him turn to you and find ways to mature, even while living with a difficult roommate and struggling in classes. This isn’t what’s actually happening. I’m just making this up. I imagine my college kid, but hey, John, if you’re listening, I know you’re totally fine. Or, uh, at least these aren’t your problems. They’re different ones, which I’m not saying, but, um, I and so I think that that I mean and even that like the stressful prayers and like, I remember when my sister was I have so many examples from my my interesting life today. 


But when my sister was dying of cancer and I yelled out to God in prayer, please, Savor, please give me a miracle. And when he didn’t, I was angry. Mhm I was totally detached from what is and I don’t blame myself at all, and I’m not mad at myself for doing it. I was just in the fantasy land of and not that God wouldn’t do a miracle, but people die of cancer, right? And I’m like, but she’s the one he’s going to save. And I got so wrapped up in God changing the circumstances that I didn’t grow I don’t know what, um, I was like for my family. I don’t know. And I’m not saying I did it wrong. I’m just saying that there’s different ways to do it and ones that give us less stress and anxiety and more opportunity for growth and maturing of our own souls. And in the same way, and I’m noticing do you notice what’s happening here? Rhiannon so far, the entire podcast episode has been about being okay with uncomfortable emotions that naturally come because of our experience on life and because we’re human and because we care about people. And there is power in embracing them, naming them, allowing ourselves to feel them and move through them instead of resisting them and hoping everything or wishing everything will change. 


Or, uh, running to the rescue and trying to fix everything and make a soft fall for everyone and running around like a chicken with their head cut off trying to fix it all. And that’s stressful and a lot of anxiety, too. So I would say for this question, I like to think of this too, is looking at this. She’s got a story in her head about her family or whatever the family situation is that’s creating stress and anxiety. She could look for ways in the story to find where is the growth in this story, where is the good in this story, where’s the, uh, hope in this story? Where’s the opportunity in this story and spend as much time looking at, uh, that part of the story as the part of the story where it seems like everything’s going wrong. Because I know it’s hard. It’ll feel a little cuckoo, like you’re delusional if you go from, oh, my gosh, I’m just supposed to think he’s supposed to be on drugs. It’s fine. That seems really delusional and crazy, but maybe you could instead just be like, you know what? It totally sucks. He’s on drugs and this is so stressful. And he shows up asking for money and I don’t know if we’re going to have to try to do an intervention and get him in rehab. And I’m trying to talk to his dad and it’s all so stress, full. Um, and we could find what in here is an opportunity for me to grow and mature. How is it that I would want to show up? How can I bring goodness to the situation? How can I bring love and compassion to the situation? And what might actually be good about this? I do that with my kids all the time because I just want their lives to be perfect. And that’s not the way they’re going to grow and become the amazing human being I want them to become. 


They’ll actually be a little pathetic if they never have an opportunity to grow. They’ll be stunted and immature. I want them to grow. That means fire. That means challenges. And so I will look at the story in my head every time and look for the goodness, the opportunity where growth could happen for them and for me. And if nothing else, sometimes I’m like, maybe it’s supposed to happen this way for some crazy reason that I can’t see. Just maybe. And I’ll just start there. I like to give people a place to start because I’m talking about where we can get with a lot of thought work and months and months in working on this. But in the moment for today, you could just start with maybe it’s supposed to happen this way for their good. I totally can’t see it. But I will admit, maybe it’s possible. 


Rianon: Yeah, that’s so good. I really appreciate that answer. I mean, for myself. And I think a lot of people listening are really going to appreciate that because this is real life stuff. I mean, if you haven’t been through it yet, you will at some point difficult like that. So I love that. I think that is very helpful. So thank you for the answer. I have one more question for you. 

DIANA: Let’s do it. 


Rianon: Okay. Um, so the last question I have for today is from Angela. And this one also, I think is very relatable. It says Winter and less daylight have always been a struggle emotionally. What are some thoughts I can meditate on to help overcome the mental darkness? 

DIANA: Okay, I’m writing down these words because I think this is very interesting and totally relatable for me. Um, I would walk around in winter being like, I’m sad. Seasonal effect disorder. Like January, February, March in Wisconsin. And it was hard. And if that and go back to the last question. If anything stressful is happening in the family, it would just pull all my energy and I could spiral very quickly. But, uh, I wrote down the words from this question, and I’m like, okay, winter. That’s a fact, right? Less daylight. That’s a fact. Scientifically. And everybody would agree. And scientifically, these are true. 


The thought that Angela has, I struggle emotionally. I know it sounds very much like it’s totally true, and it’s a fact, but it’s not. It’s a perception. It’s a thought. Okay. Just because we feel more depressed or sad or exhausted or disconnected or whatever it is for us in winter and in the, um, darker months, it doesn’t mean we’re struggling. It means when there’s less sunlight, we have different emotions than when there’s more sunlight. That’s a lot less dramatic and factual. Okay, so what I’m getting well, I’m going to do one more of her thoughts, and then I’ll get to what I’m getting to. She used the words mental darkness, and that sounds very poetic, and it sounds somewhat accurate when you think, well, it’s darker outside, and mentally, it’s darker, too. And I think that’s an okay way to describe it. But when she’s looking for a solution to feel better, describing it as mental darkness isn’t going to help. Even just imagine having this thought ran in. I am struggling emotionally and in mental darkness. If you have that thought, what will you feel? 


Rianon: Oh, depressed and sad and awful. 

DIANA: Yeah. Defeated, depressed, sad. Okay. So I’m not saying those thoughts aren’t true. I’m saying they’re very much laced with description and perception. And so it’s possible it’s not totally true. Might not be the most accurate way to describe it. But even if it is, those thoughts bring the, uh, feeling of defeat, depression and sadness even more. It’s adding logs to the fire so we can’t solve with our thoughts. All of it. Right. There are other things we can do. I take vitamin D. Maybe Angela wants to take vitamin D. Maybe Shorty does. When it’s above 30 degrees. I’ll put on my winter coat, and I will still go outside for if I can stand I don’t like the cold, but if I can stand five minutes with the sun on my face on a sunny day, I do. That the place I sit in my living room if I’m going to sit down during the day. And I’ll take my computer and work in there in winter instead of in my office, and I’ll sit right next to the sunniest window. So there’s things we can do, and we can reach out to other people. We can talk to them. Maybe we need the help of a counselor or somebody else in winter. 


There are these other things we can do. But what I can help, um, with right now and on this podcast, is how we can think about it differently, to not make it worse. So let’s just relieve some of that pressure. Angela, you’re not struggling emotionally in winter, and you’re not going through a mental darkness. What you have is some, um. Different emotions. When the daylight changes, that’s it. Look on the emotional wheel. It’s easier to have sunnier emotions during the summer. They come more naturally. There’s a lot of outdoor social activities. And then in winter, when we’re inside and we get less sun and we don’t get to see the sun as much and we don’t see people as much, what happens is we feel some of the more emotion, uh, some of the emotions that are more to a, um I’m not seeing depressed in a bad way, but, like, summer is more energized. So if you had an energy scale, it would go up. And then in winter, on that energy scale, it gets depressed in the way that it goes down. Um, that’s normal. When I said, I, uh, deal with that, nobody could see Rianon’s head. 


We’re looking at each other on camera. She was nodding. This is normal. I understand. We all get it to different degrees, but let’s just decide it’s normal. It’s not a struggle. It’s not mental darkness. It’s just emotions are different in winter. Now, what do I want to do about it? And it’s okay. It gives you a lot of grace and freedom and permission to be like, I got no energy today. What do I really want to do? Because I’ll feel great that I got those done. And what are all the things that I’m going to let go and I’m going to sit under a blanket and stare out the window or stare at the Christmas tree or watch the leaves or put on a movie that I could just get lost in? You can just go do that too. It’s fine. That’s what happens in winter. In summer, it’s different and it’s not a big deal. What do you think about that, Rianon? 


Rianon: I was nodding the whole time you were talking. Yes. Well, that is something that I also struggle with, is that seasonal effect, um, uh, disorder. Not that I’ve had an actual diagnosis, but kind of self diagnosis that I do, but I have noticed that since doing the thought work that it has gotten better. And like you said, that feeling depressed, not in the sense of clinical depression, kind of depressed, but just like that lower energy, um, because I notice it even on those days when it’s really gloomy, as soon as the sun kind of goes behind a cloud and I feel my energy drop, it seems so automatic. Um, and in the past, I would maybe think, um, so automatically and so quickly, like, oh, I’m depressed, or, oh, I hate this. And it was like just one negative thought after another. And then, of course, what’s wrong with me? Why do I feel this way? Nobody else. All these different thoughts where it was like, instead of doing that because now I’m more aware of, um, the connection between my thoughts and my feelings, my actions, is to recognize, um, okay, it’s a gloomy day or the sun just went behind a cloud for however many hours of days. We’re in Wisconsin, right? 


Sometimes it’s like a week before we see the sun. Um, but just to go, um, I feel like I have low energy. Like you were just saying, make it more neutral. Um, and don’t put the judgments on there. And to just accept it in that, um, yeah, this is what happens when there’s not sun. It’s not a problem. It’s just the way it is. That has helped me so much not continue down this kind of negative trail of thoughts that makes it worse. And just to go, oh, okay. That’s what it is. And then also, like you said, focus on what you can do. I’m like, I love candles and lights. And I just think, what little things can I do to make myself feel better, but accepting, yeah, I’m not going to have the same energy level. And it’s okay. Um, and some days, maybe I will feel a little bit depressed. And that’s also okay a part of it, too. So everything you said, um, yeah, you can’t see me, but my head was bobbing up and down. So I’m like, yes, so true. 


DIANA: Um, I was just working on this today because it was a week ago, I went and had coffee, um, with my friend Tanya. Hey, Tanya. And I was telling her, I’m like, I think I’m getting depressed. And she’s like, well, it’s fall. It’s probably your vitamin D levels. And I’m like, oh, duh. Here I was for days being like, oh, I’m getting depressed. I did it. So one of the things I was doing, actually, just before we got on the call today, I played my dance mix. If you’re in the Renew Your Mind Facebook group, I did just post my dance mix. 


Rianon: I saw that. I need to check it out, though. I want to see what’s all on there. 

DIANA: Oh, there’s some good grooves on there. I was making the bed, uh, because I’d washed the entire bed and I put that on and I was singing and dancing. And so I take vitamin D and I do things like that. And I reach out to friends and like you said, candles. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Just get the Christmas lights, the white Christmas lights out and start stringing them up around your whole house and just make light. There’s also sunlamps, not like a sun lamp, but like, um, ones that help mimic the daylight. So you can’t sit under them all day long. They don’t tan you, but they just give your brain that stimulation, um, like the sun would. And you can buy them for 30, 40, $50 on Amazon. You can get one of those too. 

Rianon: Yeah, absolutely. Exercise too, for me. I feel like in the morning, usually the dance exercise helps me feel better and get going. So lots of things that can help. That’s awesome. Thank you. So much. Like I said, I just feel like these are great questions. I mean, they always are, but a lot of us, I think, really can relate to all of this. 

DIANA: Yeah, I think if we were to wrap up today’s session, it would be that we talked about being willing to feel uncomfortable emotions and being okay with what is yeah, absolutely. Well, thank you very much. 

Rianon: Yeah, thank you again. 


DIANA: All right, well, I guess that’s it. And I look forward to more questions. If you want your question answered on the podcast, it’s really easy. In addition to getting my dance mix list, you can ask Brianna a question anytime you want in the Renew Your Mind community on Facebook, and she will bring it to me on the next podcast to ask. So go do that. Go sign up. Head over to Rympodcast.com. There is a link in there for the Facebook page, and I guess that’s it. So we’ll talk to you next week. Until then, take care of you. 


As an advanced certified life coach, I help Christian women trying to live their best lives, but they still feel unsatisfied and stuck. I teach thought management skills that work so you can enjoy life again and step into who God has created you to be. Don’t forget to head on over to Rympodcast.com to get my free resources or a free coaching call.

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