Podcast Episode 94 – Being Content Today & Feeling Guilty About Self-Care

Jul 3, 2023 | Podcast

I’m Diana Swillinger, and you’re listening to Episode 94 of The Renew Your Mind podcast. Listener questions. 

DIANA: Hey. Hey, everybody. Welcome back. Welcome to another episode of the Renew your Mind podcast with Rianon. Happy New Year. 

Rianon: Happy New Year. 

DIANA: I’m so glad to be back together again. 

Rianon: Yes. I missed you. 

DIANA: I missed you too. Because, well, we did have an episode come out at the, uh, last week of December, but we recorded that in November. So haven’t seen you for a couple of months. 

Rianon: I know. It’s been a while. It’s good to see you. 

DIANA: Yeah. How was the holidays and everything? Good. It was good. Yeah. Wait, quick. Don’t think about anything that went wrong. And then answer, they were great. 

Rianon: Right. Focus on the good. 

DIANA: Focus on the good. 

Rianon: How are your holidays? 

DIANA: Um, it was good. The way my family’s kind of shaked out over the years, it was low key. And my sister was going to come in from New York, but she had been in contact with some people who had had COVID. And then you want to play it safe and all that. So it was just low key, me and my family and my parents. And it was nice. Good. 

Rianon: Uh, um, sometimes low key is a good thing for the holidays. 

DIANA: Yeah. Well, I never remember what I say on this podcast, so who knows? I don’t know if I’ve said this before, but I’m actually quite the introvert. And so, like, being home with just a couple people I love and nothing too stimulating going on is amazing. I would just be home most days. I mean, every once in a while it gets too crazy and I want to get out of Dodge. But yeah, hanging out at home and having to be quiet is my style. 

Rianon: So it’s nice. 

DIANA: Well, anyway, in case you haven’t heard me and Rianon on the podcast before, what we do is she just brings me questions from listeners just like you. So if you want to ask questions for this podcast, you totally can. You just need to join the Renew Your Mind community on Facebook. And to do that, go to Rympodcast.com. Somewhere on there, there’s a teeny little Facebook symbol. I haven’t figured out how to make it bigger yet. I, um, should put that on my to do list. But anyway, you can find it there, or you can just go to a Facebook and search the Renew Your Mind Community and you should be able to find us. Anyway, join us there. And every month Rianon asks, hey, what do you want to know? What do you want to know about renewing your mind? What questions do you have? What are you wondering? What has Diana said that doesn’t make sense? What do you need help with? And you can ask your questions there, and Rianon will bring them to us here on the podcast. So I guess that’s all I have to say about that. Why don’t you ask me some questions? 

Rianon: All right, great. Yeah. I have a few questions for you today from some listeners. And the first question that I have is from Erin. And Erin is a mother of five with one on the way, school age children and younger. So her question is, how can I remain content in my daily life when there doesn’t seem to be enough time to get all of my daily chores done? Because I’m so busy taking care of the kids. If I’m doing chores, I think about what I’m missing out on with the kids. If I’m spending time with my kids, all I think about are the list of things I need to get done around the house.

DIANA: That is an awesome question. And, um, I was not good at this when I had kids and I had all the stuff to do, and I had four, so five plus one on the way. I think Erin’s a hero already. And I mean, just off the cuff, my thought is you shouldn’t get all that whatever you think you’re supposed to get done every day, you totally shouldn’t. 

Rianon: Right. 

DIANA: But I’m sure she doesn’t believe that. She still thinks she should get it done. Um, the thing about contentment is it’s very interesting because I think we get confused about what contentment is when we want to take a look at, like, when was I content? Oh, I was content that day that our family went to the beach and we had an amazing lunch. Everybody had tons of sunscreen on, so nobody got burned. Like, nothing went wrong. They were playing in the sand. They were getting along. They buried their dad in the sand. We played fun games. I mean, like, the whole day I was just feeling so content because everything was going the way I liked it to go. 

Rianon: interesting. 

DIANA: Right? 

So if we think about other moments in our lives where we’re content, the ones that we’ll think of right away are probably the moments where everything went the way we would have liked it to go. Yes, but that’s easy. I mean, we’re always going to be content when things go our way. Like if Christmas goes smoothly. We were just talking about the holidays. Oh, it was quiet and nobody fought, and everyone liked their gifts and was so polite. And when dinner was done, the kids got up and cleaned. I mean, it was just crazy. Everything went so well. I was so content versus the kids were fighting. They didn’t help put the dishes away. That kid hated their gift and was rude to Grandma. I was not content because it didn’t go well. But that is not what true contentment is. That’s a cheater. Uh, way of getting contentment, I guess. I mean, it’s just easy. Real contentment comes when we actually believe everything is okay, even if it doesn’t go exactly as we think would be the best way for it to go. Uh, the laundry is not done. Can I be okay with that? 

Rianon: That’s so different than the other way that most of us think about being content. 

DIANA: Yes. So here erin. She’s trying to balance time with her kids, which I guarantee they’re having spats between the kids every day. I guarantee she’s not getting everything she needs to get done every day. I guarantee several nights a week somebody doesn’t like dinner. I guarantee the washer is going to break down because you got that many kids. My washers in the 15 years I’ve had it, I should probably get a new one. I mean, we’ve either self repaired or had it repaired at least a half a dozen times because we run that thing like crazy. So contentment can’t rest in getting everything done and having the right balance between getting things done and the right balance with spending time with your kids and the right balance of things going well or getting accomplished because it’s never going to happen. Or it’s going to happen one out of 30 days, and you can only be content that day because the other days it didn’t work right. Contentment is being okay with what is okay. Whatever’s happening in the moment. I think I mentioned it before. I think I did an episode, um, called Accepting What Is. And I may have referenced Byron Katie. She wrote a book. I mean, I kind of borrowed my podcast title from her and just tweaked it. But her book is called Loving. What is? And she’s a little bit woo woo. She’s a little bit out there. She is at peace. No matter what happens in life, it doesn’t matter. And it’s almost kind of like, well, you’re a little superhuman, or that doesn’t seem natural. Like maybe you shouldn’t have peace sometimes when something goes wrong. Um, so that’s like the rest of us. But her whole book about loving what is, is why fight with reality when we think things should be different than they are? Every time we think that, we’ll be malcontent. Wow. 

Rianon: Yeah, that’s so true. 

DIANA: Yeah. Contentment is an interesting thing to want. It’s a great thing to want. In Philippians four, after Paul tells us what to do with our minds, whatever is good, whatever is righteous, whatever is holy, whatever is admirable, think on these things. A few verses later, he says, I have learned to be content whether I have much or whether I have little. And he said, in having much or having little. But he’s kind of saying I’ve learned to be content. Whether I have things going the way I want them to or whether I don’t have things going the way I would choose them to. I’ll be content if I’m free to go preach the gospel where I want to preach it, and I’ll be content if I’m in jail and the only way I get to share the gospel or encourage is through letters, I’m going to be content. 

Rianon: So it doesn’t depend on your circumstances is what I’m hearing you saying. 

DIANA: Totally does not depend on your circumstances. If contentment is dependent on your circumstances, your contentment is just totally at the whim of what other people are doing or whatever natural circumstances are occurring in our world and you’ve given up your ability to be content to other people. Mhm. Why would we do that? And God’s not asking us to do that. And God’s given us examples over and over how to be content. And if we really want to understand what die to self means, I think sometimes we think when we hear that as Christians, we’re supposed to die to self, it means to have this super low humility, a more lowly view of ourselves, like we’re no better than anybody else. And I think that’s, um, part of it. But dying to self is letting go of all the ways we think things should be. That arrogance that we I know how this should go. If this was a good day, all the laundry would get done. The kids wouldn’t run through my piles of laundry or the dog wouldn’t run through my piles of laundry. They’d help put everything away in their drawers. We’d have time where I read a story and everyone sat still and listened and they’d have a healthy dinner. We wouldn’t do macaroni and cheese from a box. I’d do it from scratch with steamed broccoli. This would be the way it should be. And then I can be content. I mean, there’s a little bit of arrogance in that. If you’re the one who thinks, you know the way it should be. 

Rianon: Very interesting when you put it that way. I don’t think most of us think that way. So if it’s not dependent on your circumstances and you said Paul figured out the secret of being intent, what is the answer? 

DIANA: Well, right before Paul, the hard part is accepting what is. 

Rianon: How do you do that? 

DIANA: I didn’t get everything done. That’s okay. The reason it’s so hard is because we hold so tightly to our beliefs that it should be a certain way. It’s so hard to let go of that. So we have to start questioning, like, is it really okay if I don’t get the laundry done? Could I be okay with that? Is it possible that that’s okay? Is it possible that, uh, on a day that I spend 8 hours taking care of business and the things I need to and my kids played without me, or god forbid, they watched three movies, whatever. Is that okay? Can you question your beliefs on whether that’s okay or whether that’s not okay? So I think that the secret is letting go of the beliefs that really have nothing to do with contentment. 

The beliefs that have to do with contentment are not about did I spend enough time with my kids, did I, um, spend enough time getting enough stuff done? Is my house in order enough? That’s the wrong put. You’re never going to find contentment in living up to those, to a belief system about earthly things. Real contentment comes from putting our focus on God, putting our focus on his promises, putting our focus on who we are in Him, living out his purposes, which have just a lot to do with relationship and love and grace and acceptance of ourselves and other people and bringing glory to Him. So right before Paul says, I’ve learned to be content with little, or I’ve learned, uh, or with much, is the whatever verses. That’s where we’re supposed to focus our minds. Um, I know I talk about I say these verses a lot, but I’m going to actually, maybe I don’t say them enough. I don’t know. I’m going to pull it up. Philippians four. This is probably the new living. Yeah. Ah, new living in, um, philippians four eight is dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. 

Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right and pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. So that is a much more heavenly perspective. I mean, what’s honorable, what’s true, what’s admirable are things that have to do with loving and accepting people and loving God and becoming our best selves. And everything else around us is just vehicles or opportunities, um, for us to grow and for us to learn and for us to get closer to God and for us to share, um, his love with other people and all of it. It really does not matter if you never do laundry again, for example, you can just totally not do laundry. People can wear dirty clothes, uh, or buy new clothes, or just keep going to Goodwill and pulling through clothes that somebody else watched, washed, or having somebody else do the laundry. Or it gets done once every two weeks. And so you buy extra clothes so they don’t run out. Underwear and socks, whatever it is. Who cares? What in the world does that really matter? Uh, when we’re looking about what’s true and what’s right and what’s holy, I mean, if it mattered, we’d probably find some scriptures about going to the river and washing your clothes and how important it is to stay up on that, or making sure we have the verses. Train up your child in the way he should go so he will not depart from it. But it doesn’t say you’re supposed to spend a certain amount of time entertaining your kids or teaching them or interacting with them or whatever. All these rules are just things we’re totally making up, m? And then they mess with our ability to feel content. Because we get all these rules from culture, from our own experience, from our own perspective. We believe them, we believe them, we believe them. And a, uh, belief, some people that I love this definition. 

A belief is just a thought that you have kept thinking over and over and over and over again until you just believe it’s a truth. So if you believe that you’re supposed to keep your house in order, that is not a truth. It’s just a thought that you’ve believed so long that it feels true. We’ve got to be willing to let go of all these beliefs that we just made up or picked up, or we just believed it so long because of our life experience that we are trying to live by it for our contentment. It’s a false place to get contentment. Contentment is going to come from an eternal perspective. A, ah, perspective about what really matters to God, which is love and grace and relationships and pointing to Him and all that kind of stuff. 

Rianon: Wow. I think some people right now, their mind is blown right now. I feel like that’s a shift, m, in thinking, really, for a lot of people. And even though as Christians we know a lot of these things to be true, sometimes we don’t really think about maybe question our own beliefs like you’re talking about. And that uh, is very interesting. 

DIANA: Yeah, this is the whole reason I do this podcast, right? We’ve been so stuck in things we believe that we just never even questioned. Wait a second. Is that true? Mhm? Is this helping me in my life? Is this something I should be holding on to? Because this is going to help me live in God’s will better? We’re just so busy, like, just doing and we don’t stop and question. So if any of this gets you to stop and question something you believe for a long time and wonder, is this really true? Do I need to keep thinking that? Do I want to keep thinking it? What if I thought something different? What would that be? That’s awesome. And I do recognize too, all of this. Um, not every thought. Sometimes we just like, I want to change that thought and then boom, we change it. We’re like, it doesn’t matter if I get the laundry done. I actually believe that. But, uh, sometimes it’s like, no wait, my kids actually shouldn’t watch more than an hour of TV a day. I really, really believe that. All right, so maybe you do want to change that thought because it’s got you stuck or it’s messing with your contentment or frustration, or it’s making things stressful. You can question it. Uh, I guess last thing I’d say then is just with that example of the watching TV, if you really, really believe no more than our TV is the way to go, great. Then hang on to that thought and work on some different ones that you can get some traction with or some leverage with. Maybe you always want to think that. I mean, we get to have preferences. We get to have values and morals that we like and we want to instill, but get rid of the ones that you’re just thinking because you thought them for so long. 

Question the ones that are easy to question and change and give yourself some relief along the way. Erin, you get to be content whenever you want to. It’s just whatever is happening, it’s okay. It’s okay if I didn’t spend enough time with my kids today. It’s okay. If they fought today. It’s okay if I didn’t get all my stuff done. It really is okay. And if you can’t quite believe that, then maybe you can say, well, Diana says it’s okay. So maybe it’s okay. Just think that maybe Diana’s right. That it’s okay. Maybe not. I’m not sure I believe that, but okay, she believes it. We’ll just start there and see if you can just get, uh, just lighten the load a little bit. 

Rianon: Right. And I have one more comment before I move on to the next question, but you and I have both raised our kids past that little kid stage, and I’m, um, guessing you’d probably agree if the basic necessities are covered in any way, shape, or form, even if it’s drive through McDonald’s, you are doing a fantastic job. 

DIANA: Absolutely. 

Rianon: That moms of, um, kids that age do not give themselves enough credit. I felt like people would say things they were just trying to make me feel better. Like, I didn’t believe they were true, but I was like, no, it’s totally true. Like, oh, my goodness, you are a rock star here’s.

DIANA: What anyone who’s got kids, uh, if you have any kids at all under the age of eight, if you keep them alive, if you feed them, and if you let them know that they’re loved, you’re doing a great job. 

Rianon: Um, I agree 100%. Thank you for that. 

DIANA: Okay. You’re welcome. 

Rianon: The next question that I have is from Christy, and she says, I have been struggling with feeling depleted emotionally and feeling guilty because what I need to feel better feels selfish to me, which is time to myself. 

DIANA: Okay, she’s in a loop, so, uh, this is perfect to go, um, in the mind shift tool what you think, what you feel, what you do. So could you read the entire question again? 

Rianon: Yeah, absolutely. Okay. So she says, I’ve been struggling with feeling depleted emotionally and feeling guilty because what I need to feel better feels selfish to me. And what she needs to feel better is time to herself. 

DIANA: Okay. So she’s having a thought. It’s selfish to take time to myself. Mhm. Okay? And I don’t know if she feels guilty from that thought. I mean, guilt might come when she does take time to herself. 

Rianon: Okay? 

DIANA: Um, but let’s go with this anyway. So what she thinks is, it’s selfish to take time to myself. What she feels is guilty. What she does is not take time to herself. Tell herself she is a bad person for wanting it. I m mean, I’m just making this up, but I’m just doing a little guesswork, okay? And I’m writing this down because it always helps to write it down. If you guys are ever working on what’s going on in your brain and what are you feeling, I always recommend writing it down. So she thinks it’s selfish to take time to myself. And then what she feels is guilty. And what she does is not take time to herself and tell her she’s a bad person for wanting to. She shouldn’t want to. That’s the other thing she’s telling herself is I shouldn’t need time to myself, okay? And then when she doesn’t, the outcome that she gets, what she gets is I don’t take care of myself, okay? And then she probably thinks, oh my gosh, I’m so depleted. Then she gets depleted and then the cycle starts all over again. Listen everybody, this is what we all do. This is the loop from hell. 

Rianon: I’ve been there before. I think everybody has been there before, right? To some degree, yes. 

DIANA: Okay, so what’s going on is I feel depleted. Um, I’m repeating this again. Listen, everybody, listen to how this works. I feel depleted emotionally. Then I think it’s selfish to take time to myself. Then I feel guilty about even thinking about it. Then what I do is I don’t take time to myself and I just kind of tell myself I’m a bad person for even wanting it. And I keep pushing through and what I get is I don’t take care of me and I’m depleted. And then I do it all over again. It’s madness. Mhm? What is the point of this? If we just want to keep bashing ourselves by saying we’re selfish? If we want to keep feeling guilty and you want to keep feeling exhausted and depleted, just keep going on this. It’s going to work for you that way every single time. So the way to stop the cycle is to change something. I have it written down in steps. What you think, what you feel, what you do. You got to change something. You got to change one of them. And, uh, I’d say the source of what we feel and do is what we think. That’s why we have it in that order. What you think, what you feel, what you do. So in order to not keep going in this loop, we’ve got to interrupt the loop and we’ve got to change the thought. 

Rianon: Um, I just have to say just by you even stopping and spelling all that out and writing that down, that is so helpful right there. Usually we keep all those thoughts in our head and when you just put that on there, it’s like, oh yeah, that is crazy, why do we do that? 

DIANA: It’s kind of like looking in the window of a front load washing machine and you see the clothes spinning. 

Rianon: Mhm. 

DIANA: It’s kind of like the thought loops in our head and you’re trying to notice. Like, oh, I could see a red shirt, I could see the jeans. And you can kind of see, but you’re not really seeing it because so if you stop the machine and then you lay it out on the floor in front of you, you can see what’s going on, what those clothes are. Right. It’s kind of what we’re doing. We’re hitting stop on the thought loop and then we’re laying out the things. Okay, here’s the deal. I feel depleted. When I feel depleted, I think I should take care of myself. But, uh, it’s selfish to take care of myself. So I feel guilty and then I don’t take time to myself, tell myself I’m a bad person, keep pressing through, and I’m depleted once again. Oh, I see it, I see it now. I slowed it down, I examined it, I see it now. 

You can ask yourself, I recommend asking this is the cycle going on, do I want to keep the cycle going? Because you can. You totally can. In fact, I don’t even judge people who do it. Christie, if you want to keep the cycle going, keep the cycle going. You’re a human being. And we all get thought cycles going. Sometimes we stop them, sometimes we don’t. It’s fine. Maybe you’re not ready to stop it. Because guilt is guilt is a hard one. Like I need to keep pressing through, there’s people relying on me. I just need to keep going. I don’t want to slow down and feel guilty and not take care of people. I just couldn’t handle the guilt. That’s real. So sometimes we keep pushing through. Most of us get to a point where we’re just like, oh my gosh, I just can’t do it anymore. I guess I’m going to have to feel guilty. So we stop doing all the racing around and stuff and maybe we do something for ourselves. We’re like, oh, I went and got a massage. I still feel guilty. Because you’re still thinking you shouldn’t take time for yourself. Mhm. It’s wrong to do that. You should press through, you should keep taking care of everybody. 

Rianon: Yeah, I have to say, I think in our society we put so much focus on those physical things to do. When you hear people talk about wellness or self care, it’s always on the actions and those things are absolutely important and helpful. But I think that what you have to offer. And the focus. You’re putting the thoughts just is not something that’s kind of brought to the surface for I think people don’t even think of that as being an option or that’s where they should start. But you’re so right. We could go and do those things to take care of ourselves, but still feel that way and still get back in that cycle. 

DIANA: Yeah. And what progresses have you made if you just hated yourself through the whole thing? 

Rianon: Right. And that temporary. It’s just a temporary little relief and then back again. So very interesting. Okay. 

DIANA: Yeah. So, Christy, I would question your beliefs. Do you think that this is good for you and the people around you now that we’ve taken the spin cycle offline and we’ve laid it all out in front of us? Is this serving you and is this serving others? This is the mom conundrum, and I think it’s a female conundrum sometimes, too, where we’re like, but I can’t stop taking care of people to take care of me. They need me. I can’t this will fall through the cracks or what if we have to miss a soccer practice, or what if, uh, whatever. We just can’t envision stopping this, but then all you keep bringing to the table is a depleted person. Hey, I’m here. Everybody. I’m depleted. I’m going to do a great job. Watch me. We don’t do so well when we’re depleted. Our mood suffers, our work suffers, people around us suffer. I’m sure there’s many times I’ve stomped around my house cleaning things right. Because I’m so angry I’m depleted. Yeah. I never have time myself. 

Rianon: Right. 

DIANA: Um, you got to think something different. And that’s why I’m saying is you showing up depleted, helpful to the people around you. It’s m not helpful to you because you’re living in guilt and depletion. That’s terrible for you. That’s not a healthy, sustainable place to be. Is it good for the people around you, for you to show up in an unhealthy emotional state, depleted and guilty? Or would it be better for you and the people around you if you showed up feeling confident or capable or content or okay, so, uh, you can’t think it’s selfish to take care of yourself if you want to show up in a healthy way for other people, because all you, uh, you don’t, you show up depleted. That’s a terrible thought. It’s not good for you. It’s not good for other people now to believe an opposite thought that it’s not selfish to take care of myself. Christy’s not going to believe that because like we talked about with the well worn beliefs that we believe it so long, we believe it so long, she’s not going to believe, oh, it’s totally not selfish to take care of me. I wish I had Christie to talk to, because when we talk through the situation, we can get an idea of some other things to think. But a, uh, starting. Place because the situation is she’s feeling depleted emotionally. A starting place would be to have some compassion for herself. Like, it makes sense I’m depleted because I keep telling myself it’s selfish to take care of myself, and I keep going. So it totally makes sense that I’m feeling depleted right now. That would be a place of starting with a little bit of compassion for yourself. You don’t have to do anything different yet. Just keep doing what you’re doing. But instead of telling yourself it’s selfish to take care of me, just start by recognizing I’m depleted. And that makes sense. Um, sometimes I look in the mirror, I’m like, I see you, Diana. It’s a rough day. I see you’re in a rough day. That’s it like she can just talk to herself in her head or in the mirror or whatever. Like, Christy, I see you’re depleted. I see you. Great place to start. 

Rianon: Yeah, just kind of take some of that, um, heaviness off right away. I mean, I can feel that as I’m listening to singing, because I’ve been there before, too. And yeah, you can just physically feel that sensation kind of of that heaviness of that kind of come off when you just have that compassion. 

DIANA: And then once you’re in that space, you can think about this a little bit more objectively. Like, I’m, um, kind of depleted, and I’m thinking it’s selfish to take care of me, but it’s not working. So what if I did take care of me in some way? What if I just did one thing? What would that look like? Just ask yourself a bunch of questions. Is there something I could do? And not feel selfish doing that? Like, if I went for a walk on Saturday mornings before anybody woke up, maybe m if I did that and I enjoyed walking by the river or through the trees or whatever, that would feel like me time. And it wouldn’t feel selfish because it’s a Saturday morning and people are still sleeping. I could just do that. Maybe I could just start there. Uh, by taking the heap of guilt off and feeling a little compassion for yourself, you can start thinking it through. Maybe it’s not selfish to take care of ourselves. Is that possible? 

I mean, I know what I believe, but, um, we got to play with the thoughts. Maybe it’s not. What would be the benefits of taking care of myself, with not taking care of myself? I’m always depleted and I am getting a lot done, and I’m really helping people. So there’s also some benefits to it. Like, what are the benefits to not taking care of me? And what is the downside of not taking care of me? What are the benefits of taking care of me? Would that change how I show up and just be, um, curious, be curious about it? Like, I don’t have all the answers for you, christy, you’re the expert. On your own life. But let’s not condemn you for being depleted. I mean, you’re a human being, and if you keep going and you don’t take care of yourself, you’re going to get depleted. It totally makes sense. So I guess I’m going to leave it there because I don’t think there’s anywhere else to go with this right now. But start with having some compassion for yourself. Yeah. 

Rianon: Makes sense. And it sounds like when you, um, kind of lay it all out there again, that it helps you to start thinking logically about things and seeing choices, instead of, I’m a very emotional person. When those emotions are strong, it’s like we’re not thinking clearly. 

DIANA: Yeah. Stopping the spin cycle on the washing machine, um, it slows down the emotions, too. 

Rianon: Yeah. 

DIANA: And it gives you a moment to be objective. So one last thing, but before we end this episode is, I would say, a practical tool you guys have heard me talk about before that you can use in any of these situations. If you want to stop whatever spin cycle is going on in your head and see what’s going on in there, is to grab a piece of paper and do a thought dump. It’s just like the dump truck backs up and it lifts, and all the thoughts come falling out onto a piece of paper. No judgment. There’s no right or wrong thought. It might be a mix of good thoughts and bad thoughts. All you have to do is just, you know, Erin’s could be, like, trying to balance what she puts as her topic, is trying to balance kids and obligations. And Christy could just put at the top of her paper, um, self care. Like, leave it bland. When you pick a topic and then just dump out your thoughts, it stops the spin cycle, and it lets you see what’s going on in that brain of yours. And even that can give you some relief. It’s different from journaling. It’s just a messy dump, unorganized dump. And that says it should be, but that can be very therapeutic. And then sometimes you look back at what all the thoughts you wrote, and you’re like, oh, my gosh, I had no idea that thought was in there. No wonder I feel so crappy. That thought is not helping me. And then you can start working on being curious about that thought and get some help or show up in the Facebook community and share it with us or send me a message, and I would be happy to help you with it.

Rianon: That’s great. Are you still doing the free coaching sessions, too? 

DIANA: I still have free coaching sessions as well. Yeah, sometimes I have limited availability, depending on, um, how my weeks are looking, but usually there’s at least a couple of options for those. And, um, I just decided that I should be able to continue doing my free calls at least throughout the spring. So um, if you haven’t done a free coaching call yet, yeah, you could totally do that. If you do a thought dump before you come, we’re going to have an amazing coaching session. We’ll get a lot done. 

Rianon: Awesome. Well, thank you so much. 

DIANA: Well, thank you. I love answering these questions, and, um, it’s always fun because I don’t know what the questions are, so I hope that was helpful to everybody. It’s even helpful to me. I appreciate the questions you guys ask. Keeps me thinking, keeps me learning about how our brains work and how we can better help each other through navigating life, which isn’t always easy. Um, all right, everyone, thank you for joining us this week. And I guess that’s it for today, so we’ll catch you next week. Until then, take care of you. 

As an advanced certified life coach, I help Christian women trying to live their best lives, but they still feel unsatisfied and stuck. I teach thought management skills that work so you can enjoy life again and step into who God has created you to be. Don’t forget to head on over to Rympodcast.com, to get my free resources or a free coaching call, subscribe to our channel.

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