I’m Diana Swillinger, and this is The Renew Your Mind podcast. Episode 95 What Motivates You?
DIANA: Hey hey, everybody, what’s up? It’s February. I have a birthday this month. So, you know, it’s a good month. It’s actually my son’s birthday today, february 2 of, uh, 2022. I got to get all my twos right. Okay. If you write the birthday shorthand, it’s like the month, the date, and the last two digits of the year. It’s two two and it’s his birthday. And he’s not 22, he’s 23. But that would have been fun. Anyway, birthday month for me too. So I’m going to take a little vacation to Texas. Why Texas? I don’t know. It’s not Wisconsin, so Wisconsin in winter is cold, so I’m going to go to Texas. Uh, the people in Texas, they think it’s cold there, but I’m going to be like in shorts and a t shirt in the loving it. So I don’t know. Never been there and it’s going to be warmer than here, so why not? I have a lot of things I’m looking forward to this month. In addition to the birthdays and the travel, I’m starting another project this month with one of my longtime heroes in the worship world. I used to be a, ah, worship leader for decades.
Some of you have heard me mention that before, and now I have been invited to co host an incredible offering with the one and only Joe Hornes. A lot of you probably have no idea who Joe Hornes is, but if you have been a worship leader anytime over the last 30 years, you might have heard his name and you might have even sung his songs. Anyway, he has an amazing heart for worship. He has an amazing heart that loves Jesus. And he’s going to be training people who are in worship ministry and sharing all the wisdom he has. And I get to just show up and interview him and co host with him. And I’m so excited, I could go on and on about it, but I’m not going to because that’s not what we’re talking about today. Though, now that I think about it, I could totally do an episode where we talk about how we renew our mind through worship and Joe might be perfect person to talk about that with me to share with all of you. So now I’m totally excited about that. Anyway, in case you’re interested, my project with him is called the Joe Hornes Worship Collective and we’re going to have some free trainings coming up. If you’re a worship leader, a worship volunteer pastor, you’re totally not going to want to miss this opportunity. So anyway, like I said, this isn’t the place to talk about it, but I don’t want any of you to miss out if you’re in worship like Diana. Why didn’t you tell us? I have told you.
Now, for now, you can go to Facebook and look up Joe Hornes Worship Collective, and you can be a part of what we’re doing over there. Anyway, on to today’s topic, what motivates you? Do you know what motivates you? I can tell you what motivates you. It’s easy for me to answer because I think it’s the same for all of us. What you think you’re going to feel is what motivates you. Does that make sense? Like, whatever it is, if you go do something or not do something, whatever you’re going to feel during or after, that is what motivates you. So let’s look at some scenarios so I can illustrate this. Let’s talk about exercise. Now, I’m saying you and exercise and energy and you wanting to be thinner or whatever, I don’t know what it really is for you, but this is just a way for me to illustrate it. Okay? So most of us want to exercise because we think there’s going to be some benefit to it.
So I’m just looking at a couple options for what motivates you to exercise. Maybe you want to look thinner. Maybe you want to have more energy. Okay? So let’s take a look at those. Let’s say it’s because you want to look thinner. Well, there’s a reason you want to be thinner or look thinner. What is it? What will you feel if you weigh less or you’re thinner? Have you thought about that? I think you’ll feel confident or accepted or strong or things like that. Think about it. If you were at that weight that you wanted to be at, where you thought you were thinner or you liked how you looked, when you look in the mirror, you’d be thinking something like, I look good, and then you’d feel confident. Or you might think, I like me at this size, and you’d feel accepted. Or you might think, I did it. I hit my goal and feel strong or capable. What is motivating you is that moment that you’re imagining, even if it’s kind of in your subconscious, you’re imagining that you’re going to get to some place where you get to feel those things.
Maybe someone wants to exercise for more energy. So what really motivates us to want this is how we think we’ll feel when we get there. If you feel winded now, when you do an activity, you might be feeling disappointed or embarrassed or left out if you can’t do what friends are doing or keep up with your kids or your grandkids. But if you did more exercise and you had more energy, then you think you could do that activity without getting winded. And you’d feel satisfied or fulfilled or included or connected. We do things because of how we think we will feel. I wish I was doing this live because I would ask you all to shoot out ideas to me, because I’m telling you, this works for so many things. I mean, it might work for everything, honestly. So I’m just going to throw out some more things and let’s see if we can find the motivation. So play along with me as you listen. All right. I brush my teeth every night and every morning because they feel gross, and I feel gross when I don’t. I also might get, uh, cavities, and I wouldn’t like that. I’d feel gross if I didn’t brush my teeth. Or I’d feel angry at myself or disappointed for having cavities or annoyed for going to the dentist and actually, uh, notice I’m motivated to not feel those things.
Right? Many times we do things to not feel something, but there’s also always something that we’re going to feel instead. What is it? If I brush my teeth twice a day, I could feel content with how my teeth are, or I could feel proud of taking care of me, or I could feel confident for having a nice smile, right? Does this seem like a stretch to you? Uh, I swear it’s not. Because this is how our brains and our bodies work. We think about things, and then we have emotions that are generated from those thoughts. And then this drives what we do, and then we have thoughts about what we do and emotions from that. It’s how our brain works. Our brain knows it works that way. And this is how we get motivated or unmotivated. Let’s try another one. I work on my business every day. Why? If an emotion that I would feel in the future is what drives me, what would it be?
Okay. I woke up this morning and I could have done no work in my business. Instead, I did work all day. You know what? I think there’s a lot of emotions with this. And it’s not that only one emotion is going to, um that we want to feel is going to be what drives us. There could be many. After a day of work, I know I’m going to feel accomplished. I’m going to feel responsible. I’m going to feel in alignment. I love feeling that stuff. Also, when I help people, when I help someone, I help several people every day, actually. And when I help people improve their lives or solve a problem or feel better, I feel satisfied, I feel joy. All great things to feel. And you know what? If I blew off my work or my appointments, I might feel inadequate or resentful at myself or ashamed. And I don’t want to feel those things. I want to feel joy and satisfied and accomplished. Okay. Can you see how this works.
Let me interject here, and let’s just talk about why this even matters. Why does it matter that emotions are driving us or motivating us? Why do we care? And I would say the main reason is awareness. With all the work I have done to renew my mind over the past ten plus years, awareness of what is going on in that head of mine is what gave me any leverage at all to manage what’s going on in there. It’s kind of like, oh, my gosh. See if you guys follow weird concepts pop into my head. See if you follow this one at all. I’m imagining somebody asking me to repair a bicycle, okay? They’re like, hey, can you fix this bike? But they’re riding the bike around in circles. I’m standing in the middle, and they just keep riding around me in circles, saying, I know this bike is broken and we need to fix it. But they refuse to stop the bike. In that case, there is no way I can figure out what’s wrong with it. And without figuring out what’s wrong with it or what’s going on, I can’t even have any thoughts about what to do to fix it.
They just keep riding around me in circles, and I have no awareness of the problem. I mean, I know there’s a problem, but no awareness of why it’s a problem. No ability to diagnose it, no ability to think about it in any way beyond just knowing it’s a problem. And we do this all the time in our lives. I cannot tell you how many people I talk to that say I, uh, have this negative thought loop and it just won’t stop. I’m overthinking things all the time. I’m just stressed and worrying or overwhelmed about all this stuff. And it’s like the bike that just keeps going around in circles. You know it needs fixing, but you can’t determine what the root problem is or how to fix it until you stop the dang bike. And that’s what we’re doing here. We’re stopping the bike. When the bike stops, you can look. You’d be like, AHA, uh huh. Look at that. Um, the chain is rusty and the pedal is loose, and this tire is flat. Okay, whatever. We get to see what’s going on. We’re gaining awareness of what needs to be fixed, and we might not always know what to do next to fix it. That’s okay. You have to start by understanding what’s going on today.
That’s what we’re doing while we’re considering motivation and the emotions that are driving us. And we can do this with anything that involves our brain and our thoughts, which is everything in life, really. Anything that comes up for you that seems like a problem or you want it to be better, it has to do with your brain. And the starting point to retrain our brain is to stop the thought cycles and see what’s going on. It’s becoming aware. And you do things because you want to avoid bad feelings, and you want to feel good feelings instead. That is always why you do things. You make a packing list for the trip because you want to feel prepared. You want to feel enjoyment on the trip, and you don’t want to feel panicked or worried or have regret that you forgot to pack something. You text your friend to tell her you’ll be late for lunch because you want to feel responsible and compassionate, and you don’t want to feel arrogant or embarrassed or something like that. You try to get your kids to do their homework and get good grades so you can feel proud or capable as a parent or avoid worrying about them as adults.
Emotions are at the core of what we do. The emotions we’re trying to avoid or the emotions we’re wanting to feel is what motivates us. So pay attention, and you will learn so much. The easiest way to tune into this stuff happening in your brain is to ask questions of yourself, okay? You can ask questions like, what is it I’ll feel if I do this? Or what will I feel if I don’t do this? If you can’t get to the feeling, if you’re not sure, you can check in with your thoughts first, too. What is it I’ll think after I do this? What will I think when I don’t do this? Or what will I think about me if I do this? What will I think about me if I don’t do this? Be curious. And I think doing this honestly, is more than just being curious. I think doing this is courageous. To be willing to check in with your thoughts and your feelings is a big deal. It’s courageous because you don’t always know what you’re going to find or what it will open up for you or how it might even inspire you to change. Because we don’t like to change. We like the status quo.
So exploring that might inspire change. And doing that is courageous. And a reminder whatever you find going on in your brain of yours, don’t have judgment for it. You are a human with a human brain, and crazy stuff happens in your brain. It does for all of us because we’re just humans. Judging is never helpful, though, and it’s only going to add shame or shut the door on all the amazing possibilities. So when you’re curious to take a look at what’s going on in your brain, no judgment. Have fun being curious. Have fun seeing what motivates you. Okay? All right. I want to keep you guys updated on the renew your mind boot camp. I, uh, picked some dates. Looks like the free yes, free. People say I should charge for this, but I decided I want to do it for free still.
So anyway, the Free Boot camp is going to be in April. Renew your mind bootcamp is where I teach the first four lessons from my coaching program. I coach you through the lessons live, and all your questions get answered. Because we have plenty of question and answer time, there’s going to be a giveaway, and the more friends you invite, the more entries you get into the giveaway. Last year was an iPad. I might do that again, or I might pick something different. Not sure. I’m, um, in the planning stages here, but it’s going to be super fun. Last year, around 200 women came. I’m hoping we’re going to double it this year, so details are coming soon. If you do not want to miss it, make sure you’re getting my weekly emails, sign firstname.lastname@example.org, and you’re always going to know what’s happening in the renew your mind movement, because you don’t want to miss something as amazing as the renew your mind bootcamp. All right? Okie dokie. That’s it for today, you all. So I’ll catch you next week. Until then, take care of you.
As an advanced certified life coach, I help Christian women trying to live their best lives, but they still feel unsatisfied and stuck. I teach thought management skills that work so you can enjoy life again and step into who God has created you to be. Don’t forget to head on over to Rympodcast.com to get my free resources or a free coaching call.